Rough Start But Settles Down

So I got myself some breakfast at Starbucks this morning, a breakfast sandwich and an Earl Grey hot tea and THEN headed over to Lisa's around 9 AM. I still had my hot tea in my hand as I walked through the door. That's what we talked about last night when I left. For me to come at 9 AM. My understanding was that they would have been done with breakfast already by then. The second I walked through the door I thought we were still ok since Johnnie's hair was wet, which meant he had taken a shower probably just minutes ago. And then I heard Lisa and that's when I knew. I knew that she was not in a good state. I knew that I would have to do what I could yet again to avoid a fight. This morning, however I had done some very nice meditation and I was actually quite calm and centered. And more importantly, prepared to deal with whatever storm came from Lisa's presence.  True enough I was sitting there on the couch just waiting out Lisa to let Johnnie and I go but of course who knows what it is she wanted to do. She used to do this ALL THE TIME and goad us into fights. My agenda: get out of there with Johnnie so we can have breakfast. Lisa's agenda: for someone to feel sorry for her and validate her. First question she asked was if I brought her a latte? Answer: No Last night you said you guys would already be done with breakfast by the time I got there. Johnnie asked her if we could go, only to be met with a rant that I was being an asshole. Yeah sure. She's the one ranting and raving walking down the stairs and I'm the asshole? LOL. Fortunately I was in a calm state and I simply asked her if that was necessary... the asshole part. And why she would choose to do that now? She went on about why I wasn't able to be self-aware (huh?) enough to read what she wants and provide it. Newsflash Lisa: No one can read your mind #1. But to be blunt... No one cares #2. Certainly I didn't and if that makes me an asshole then so be it. She went on about making breakfast for Johnnie because I know it's her "I don't want to be a bad mommy thing". I could sense Johnnie too wanted to get out of there. And even when she had calmed down and we were simply talking on the couch, even Johnnie said can you guys stop arguing please? Great. Now he thinks all our interactions area arguments. It would seem that Lisa is dealing with more than just usual office shit. Apparently she and Courtney are in the middle of a fight too. Shocking. Courtney has a lot of opinions, but are generally harmless. I guess Lisa had had enough of listening to them. I waited Lisa out until 9:45 knowing she had a Pilates class to go to. She never did make Johnnie breakfast but that was ok. It would be the first thing we would get to do and as it was we went immediately to McDonald's the second it was ok to leave. That was really the key: you just have to do stuff on Lisa's terms and Lisa's timetable. You just have to let her be in control and be ok with that momentarily... knowing you aren't sticking around. 

And so Johnnie did get a good breakfast in and then off we went to Target on Sepulveda. And made a pit stop at Carter's. I ended up getting clothes for Johnnie. He sure it outgrowing all the stuff I bought 6 months ago. They were big then. Not anymore. The flip flops for the summer? Already needing to be replaced. That's ok, they aren't that expensive... not if you know where to buy. And then we picked up Panda Express at Pavilions. And THEN we went home and Johnnie got to watch his Wild Kratts. I almost hated handing him back at 1:30. Who knows what mood Lisa is in. I'm sorry Johnnie. But it's mommy's turn no matter what state of mind she is in, I have to let her watch you for the rest of the weekend.  As it was I promised to help her change the water of the turtle tank, because it was murky and disgusting. And so that's what I did. Again on Lisa's terms because that's now the number one rule when we are at her house. Everything has to be on her terms and that's that. I'm looking at it like it's my good deed for the day and leave it at that. Besides, it helped me pad my steps stats. It was nearly 2:30 when we got done. Turtle tank all clean AND I got an extra hour hanging out with Johnnie. They had Nikki's baby shower to go to later.  Bye dad... I'll see you Monday Johnnie said. I went on home and got me a fish sandwich from Burger King. And chilled the rest of the afternoon away. The rest of the day really. That's what happens when you're dealing with Lisa in a bad state. You've got to do what you can to release the stench and negative energy. Get yourself back to center and remind yourself of the basics. Everything is you pushed out. You control outcomes.  You control your state.  I did that by doing laundry. And watching college football. It's all good. Everything is ok. I turned what could have been a negative Saturday into a pretty good one actually. And Johnnie and I at least had more bonding time together. 

Lisa Goes Completely Agro

It had been a while since Lisa had blown a gasket and gone nuclear. I mean she has had her moments being irritable and unpleasant but I think it was 4th of July last year when she and I actually had a blow-up over the phone. Which is why I keep telling people she and i are actually better friends now. I actually looked back at past journal entries and in December 2017, she really blew up... and then went on with her day with Feifei and Johnnie's brothers. Why was I looking back at all? Because today her niceness streak ended with a BANG. Boy she had one of those Lisa blow-ups that would just shake me to my core. And it happened because of those god damn pictures. She had come to pick up Johnnie per the usual Thursday pick-up. She must have had a tough day because we went to her truck and she was leaning back with her eyes closed. She had confided in me earlier in the week that she was having issues at work because Nikki had tested positive for Covid... and that she was officially leaving for maternity anyway. With her gone, and with a couple of assistants also leaving for one reason or the other, I can understand where Lisa was feeling underwater. And when she told me I simply told her that I know she will figure things out. Nothing I can do to help her. All I could do was encourage. Tonight it would have been nice and easy for her to just drive off. But nope, she had to ask to look at the pictures. And of course she noticed she was not in any of them. I could see that THAT bothered her. But what was I to do? I had no pictures of them to print, no Hawaii pictures. I thought she was going to send them to me but she didn't. And now she is growing upset by the minute. And she started yelling at me. Her tone was angry. I told her I am not going to be yelled at. Shit, I was practically in my parking lot. She could blow her gasket at her house. Not at mine. And so I walked away. Fuck her. When I made it in to my apartment she calls. NOW she's angry. She told me I wasn't being nice, I wasn't being helpful. Oh yeah. It's MY fault of course. Narcissistic bitch. Of course I understand that her office is all consuming right about now. But I tried to tell her that her yelling at me was not going to solve anything. This is NOT 2017. And I told her in no uncertain terms she needed to cool off. And then she started screaming... "I SUCK AT EVERYTHING OUTSIDE OF BEING A DENTIST" was what I caught on the phone. Ok that was it. I went outside to go get Johnnie. It was one thing to blow up at me. I was NOT going to let her do that in front of Johnnie. But when I got to the building parking lot where they were, the truck was no longer there. I guess she had left. What a way to fuck up my evening huh?! Just Lisa being her worst self. Nothing much to say or do except to get myself to calm down. Get some Ho'onoponopono chants in. As for Johnnie, he is now under Lisa's watch for better or worse. I hope he's ok. 

First Day of February; Dog Drama

Man did January go by quickly or what?! Is it really February already? Answer of course is YES and YES and with the advent of the new month, from this year forward I will remember February 1 for the dog drama that happened today. It should be noted than in 6+ years that Johnnie has been alive, I have not had the inclination or the circumstance (knock on wood knock on wood) for him to have such a medical emergency that I had to bring him to the emergency room. OK, maybe that trip to urgent care when he supposedly had hand-foot-and mouth disease when he was at Blue Oak. I mean the kid flew of a scooter and skinned both knees and an elbow and I basically just band-aided him up and bought him pads that same night. In other words, I NEVER had any thought that he was in any danger or medically compromised whatsoever. This dog however, after a pretty quiet first week last week took a sudden turn tonight. And it WAS SUDDEN! One minute we were outside taking him out to pee, then he was at my feet almost sleeping. And then out of nowhere she starts yelping LOUDLY. And then starts throwing up and pooping at the same time!! WHAT-THE-HELL? OF COURSE i panicked. Because she looked awful, just laying there all limp and lifeless. I mean I was thinking "did the dog just eat something toxic and now she's lying here dead??" All I could think of was to call Lisa and tell her we were in the middle of a dog medical emergency! You should have seen the way I tore out of the apartment with the dog still yelping in huge discomfort when I finally reached her. I could only think that hopefully this dog wouldn't die on my watch!!! Am I really more concerned about being judged - and more precisely... blamed - by Lisa rather than worry about the dog? Did I really think the dog was in dire straits?

Well to tell you the truth I was not really prepared mentally or emotionally to see the dog looking as helpless as she did. She really looked like she was dying. So maybe I overreacted a little. Of course Lisa didn't know what she was doing either contrary to what I may have believed. And all she could do was call Christine to ask for advice and call her mom. Gee... that would give me no more or no better information than I already had. Heck I could have called the Vet ER by myself. The question was should I have already? What constitutes an ER visit? I remembered my own ER visit back in 2015 with a kidney stone. Did THAT really help? Quick answer? No. And then of course there's the story of my mom taking me to the ER in the middle of the night and then me throwing up all over the back of the cab. After which I was immediately better. The pooping and throwing up is the body's way of getting rid of stuff it needs to get rid of. But looking the way she did? Was that normal? To make a long story short, Lisa Johnnie and I made the trip to the Vet ER... and then proceeded to sit there in the parking lot debating whether we were really going to go in. Because by this time, the dog looked much, much better. To cut to the end of the story, we elected not to go in. We chose to simply go home. And the dog seemed even better still when we got to Lisa's house. In the end I decided she was better off staying with Lisa for the night. Heck of it all, if we had to come back to get her the following morning. We'll just have to get up a little earlier that's all. And so Lisa got her wish after all... the dog got to stay with her for the evening and Johnnie and I went on home to my apartment. I was relieved that she was better of course. And Lisa will get to see her again tomorrow since I had to leave Johnnie and dog at her office for an hour while I get my 2nd COVID vaccine dose. Not the first day of February I envisioned, not even close. I will decompress later. It was enough to simply be done with the drama.