End of 2021

So it is New Year's Eve today and I already got a nice present from Lisa letting Johnnie sleep over my apartment last night. And so it was a bit of a surprise to wake up with him sleeping soundly in the couch outside the bedroom.  Lisa did say to bring him back around lunchtime today. So we went and had our usual McDonald's breakfast, then I let him watch a bit of Wild Kratts, and then we went to Target Westwood, mainly to replace a lot of the ink pens he had for drawing that had already dried up. And I did a lot of my groceries done too. By the time we got done, it was already 11 AM and so I figured we could just stop at Panda Express Westwood on the way to pick up lunch for Johnnie. One thing he does do more of when he is with me is EAT.  And a lot of horseplay. Funny this morning Johnnie mentioned that his mom was looking for a man. And that "never mind about Dad" when he brought me up. I chuckled about that at first. But I will admit that thought stayed in my mind and kept coming up all throughout the day. I don't know why really. After all, we ARE divorced. She deserves to find a man who she can love and who can love her. We all deserve that don't we? I think what ended up sort of staying in the back of my mind wasn't that LIsa was with someone else. I am ALL FOR THAT. As I am all for me finding someone too. I think where I hesitate is that I still want to be Johnnie's dad to the degree that I am right now and maybe I felt some sort of anxiety about a man in Lisa's life taking over that role from me. Or at least changing the dynamic with Lisa, Johnnie, and I.  But hey, if she's looking for a man, I hope she finds one. And to keep it win-win, I hope I still get to have Johnnie for half the week or however much time I get to see him these days.  I reminded myself that if it is THAT which I want, then I am pretty sure it is an outcome I can manifest. And that the Universe will have my back.  I simply need to focus on being Johnnie's dad and being the best dad that I can be. 

I brought Johnnie back to LIsa's house at 12:30 just like we agreed. He had been fed already and he was actually ready to go back. When we got there Lisa was having a conversation with the gardener about replacing some of the trees, including the calamansi tree in the corner that has never brought fruit for whatever reason. I sort of kept it around as a sort of symbolic tie to my dad. But hey this isn't my house anymore is it. Better to replace it with a tree that WILL bear fruit. Yeah I'm sort of giving up on it. Johnnie started to play with the dog in the yard (see pic).  Anyway what I didn't know was that Lisa's mom was coming by and soon as she drove up with Johnny and her dogs, I realized it was time for me to go too. I did stick around long enough to at least say hi to her. And then back home I went. I figured I'd do my usual year-end stuff I usually do, which is to say evaluate how the year went and maybe re-set for the coming year.  And then of course since it IS New Year's EVe after all, i went and got myself a nice piece of boneless rib-eye. I may not be going out tonight, I never really was big on New Year's Eve partying past midnight thing. But I could enjoy a nice steak, have some wine and watch retro movies. That is what I did last year.  Because of another surge in the Covid virus, this time with the omicron variant, New Year's Eve celebrations were supposed to be a little more subdued this year, just like last year. But last year none of us were vaccinated at this time. Different today. OK to go out. Still, I didn't hear much fireworks going off in my neck of the woods, and I didn't even watch the rest of the world wave 2021 off and enter in 2022. Symbolically, Johnnie and I already did. See the pic I posted? HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!