What To Do In the Middle of the Week

Why would we have a 3 hour Leadership Summit on the back end of a short week during Christmas week? Answer? Prerogative of the higher-ups. The idea was ok, maybe it was just me looking at my schedule which was otherwise clear for today and wondering if this was a waste of time. To cut a 3 hour story short, I was so restless by the third hour I kept getting up and down and I started to realize my bank had stiffened up. Maybe it was part of a reaction to the Covid booster shot I took yesterday. But then again it HAS been more than 24 hours already and I didn't really feel all that sick yesterday. I felt something, I felt a bit off, but definitely not sick. But today, the stiff lower back was something that was impossible to ignore. I felt like the last part was just a recycle of stuff we were already doing. The conflict resolution stuff during the first part was useful I thought. My takeaway was that I needed to give my staff a sense of SAFE SPACE. All of the time. Mercifully, the talk or the meeting ended right before lunchtime at noon and I was able to get back to more pressing issues such as what to do for Johnnie's lunch. Yesterday was dramatic enough, today since we didn't go anywhere or really do anything, I was surprised that Johnnie would actually agree to eat spaghetti. And with my leftover meatloaf from the weekend, that took care of lunch for both of us. Eezy-peezy. After eating, I didn't really feel like working anymore. I knew I had more than a few things left on my To-Do for the week but somehow it seemed like they were resolving without a lot of effort or drama. I delegated what I could and the Kennedy status request got punted yet again from Dennis to Sheila both senior director level back up to Eloisa. And so I put my request in writing and crossed my fingers. It is up to them now and I'm ok with their decision either way. We'll be ok. 

And so what did I do for the afternoon? Parked Johnnie and i in front of movies that's what. He watched Space Jam Legacy. Again. <Funny how last year it was all about Frozen 2> I watched the NEW Matrix Resurrections. I can not oversimplify the significance of a new Matrix movie with both Keanu Reaves and the original Trinity in it after 20+ years. I mean after all the first Matrix movie was an iconic movie. One of the greatest sci-fi classics. What would this new one be like? My quick reaction? Just like any Star Wars movie, it wouldn't have taken much for me to like it. And I like the new plot twists and the plot explanations and everything. Yes I liked the movie. A couple of hours later, Johnnie had not only watched his movie, but he created a fortified city in the living room. That's what happens when you leave him alone for a couple of hours. I had this idea that i wanted to get him a baseball mitt for his Christmas present. I mean he could hit, but he has to learn how to catch as well. And so off we went to Big 5 later on and then since it was already close to 5 PM, we also got a pizza from Domino's a couple of blocks from there. And so this errant run was another eezy-peezy jaunt. Johnnie got his mitt and was actually excited about it. We got pizzas for dinner for the both of us and that was it for the day. I knew Johnnie wanted to learn how to use his mitt immediately and I did talk him into doing it tomorrow since it was already dark. He then proceeded to eat 3/4 of a full medium cheese pizza with half pepperoni. I mean the kid can eat now. He ate more pizza than I did! And then later on we did Christmas stuff. Recorded a video of us singing Feliz Navidad and posted it on FB. Immediately got 20 likes. Hey we're getting into the Christmas spirit right? It's all good. 

The Visit to QueensCare

One thing about having Johnnie home is that you're always trying to figure out how to keep him occupied for the entire day without parking him in front of visual media. And so today I decided to take him to the QueensCare Health Fair. They had a bunch of booths up including Mental Health assessment, including games from the YMCA folks, including Covid booster shots. I was very much interested in getting my own booster shot considering the current omicron surge going on right now, so much so even the RAMS game had been postponed to today because of players being in COVID protocol. The Lakers did not look like the Lakers last Sunday because so many people were out. And so Johnnie and I did our usual McDonald's breakfast and then headed to the new Vermont facility. There was a problem immediately. The freeway onramp was closed. I went to the next one and THAT was closed. The next one had such a long line because of the other 2 being closed. This was almost 10 AM already! I ended up having to take side streets all the way to La Brea before entering the freeway. And then when I exited Vermont, more traffic. Lots of roadwork happening everywhere it seemed like. It was like it rained hard last week and the city is reacting and doing some retro-fitting. And maybe, I could look at it like the Universe really doesn't want me to come down does it? But come down we did and really I wanted Johnnie to meet some of the folks I work with. He got to have a mental health wellness assessment, he got to play some basketball and even won a prize, which turned out to be a toy raygun I would hear the rest of the afternoon. And as for me, I finally did get my Pfizer booster shot. I was a little hesitant because I'm pretty sure I'm going to be feeling something tonight or tomorrow morning. Or maybe I'll just sleep it off like I did the 2nd Moderna shot. Anyway I thought we had a pretty good morning at the fair and then we headed home just in time for lunch.

And THAT is when doing all that driving took its toll. There was traffic on the drive home to be sure. But I didn't think it was that bad. I got off on Overland and headed to Jack In the Box at Pico to get Johnnie the chicken strips he didn't get yesterday. And what followed next was a lesson for me that I should listen to Johnnie. Particularly when he tells me he feels sick and wants to throw up. I didn't take it seriously. I still took him to line up inside Jack-in-the-box. He pointed to the bathroom and I continued to ignore him. Right up until he started throwing up right in his mask. I yelled in frustration. Not at Johnnie. But at myself. What the hell happened? We did too much driving was what happened. And he got car sick! And I spent the next 15 minutes cleaning him up and cleaning up his clothes as he totally threw up his breakfast right there in the grassy area in the parking lot at Jack-in-the-box. Oh well, at least he did it outside mostly. I still bought him chicken strips... and then I took him home to clean up. "i'm really sorry Dad," he said. Oh it is NOT your fault little one. It's mine. After cleaning him up I stroked his head and his tummy and made sure he was ok. And in a little while he recovered. At least to the point where he was taking his new toy raygun and blasting away. Look at the pic. All in all, I didn't really feel anything from the booster shot. At least not until tonight when I felt like going to sleep the same time I put Johnnie to bed around 8:45. In the meantime, I still tried to get some work done. Work to do with the Kennedy situation. I gotta convince upper management to let me keep him part time which is what he wants. Don't know if I'm going to get that. First I gotta talk to my boss, Dennis, which I did today, then Sheila the HR Director, which I'll do tomorrow. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, this became a normal routine Tuesday and it was like the throw-up thing didn't happen. We went to Panda Express to get our dinner, made chocolate chip cookies like we do on a Tuesday night. And with the thought that the week was already half over, I did feel a little weird but not sick. I'll be ok.

Monday Work and Negative Memories

I got up this morning and tried to focus on my desired outcomes for the week. It's a short week work-wise so I did have a list of things I wanted to get done. Needless to say I wanted to get through the list. But I also noticed some negative tugs, mainly from news of the outside world. Stock market tanked today because of some politics going on. Those are the kinds of things I really need to avoid. And then of course there is Lisa asking if she could drop off Johnnie at 8:30 AM this morning for me to watch him and Claire for the day. It's like a normal Monday for her I think and that includes getting on with whatever she's doing right after she drops Johnnie off at school. And then picks him up again at 5 PM. She followed her own phone call 20 minutes later calling the whole thing off. I guess her Pilates instructor cancelled on her and so she's back to dropping Johnnie off at the original time of 11:30. Still early and still good as far as I was concerned. All I needed to do was get the HRSA report done today. And timecards, both of which I should be finished by that time. All that meant was that I got to go out on my morning walk like I usually do. Nothing like feeling the warm sun on my face first thing in the morning. And with that I eased into 5000 steps before 10 AM. Still on track for 15,000 steps today. One thing though, I've noticed that my Fitbit has been running out of juice much earlier than it used to. Which is why I missed the number of steps and minutes spent yesterday at the golf course. It simply died right on my wrist. Like in a couple of hours of use. Tells me it's time to get a new one. Hey, it's been more than 4 years now anyway. Couple of clicks on Amazon and I should get a new one by tomorrow. By the time Lisa dropped Johnnie off, I actually was on track, not just with my steps, but also with my work although I wasn't done just yet. First I had to get Johnnie lunch. Which resulted in a mind-numbing waste of time at Jack-in-the-box Centinela. We had to bolt and get Johnnie a quesadilla at El Pollo Loco instead. And me my usual double chicken tostada salad. A pretty good lunch such as it were. Johnnie spent the afternoon working on LEGOs. it took him 4 hours but he did finish a snake, pic of which I am posting here. Actually very nice work I thought. By 4 PM I started to make parts of dinner for tonight. Lisa had asked if we could all have dinner at her house, which was a reasonable enough request considering she didn't and won't get to see Johnnie for the next few days. I made rice and penne pasta for Johnnie's chicken noodle soup. And then we went and got some shaved beef and broccollini to make for dinner. Eezy-peezy. Should have been an uneventful time. Except...

There are times when Lisa forgets that we are actually, in fact, divorced. And she forgets the reason why we are too. Like when she asked me to bring in the trash can sort of matter-of-factly like it was something I should be doing. Now I realize it was her tone that made me think that.  I made the food I did because we had eaten it before because you never know how finnicky Lisa is with what she eats. Tonight was one of those really bad times. And after eating a couple of servings, she started complaining that her stomach was feeling bad and she proceeds to burp really loud. <Isn't that good?> Bottom line was that whatever good feelings I had about making dinner just went right out the window. In fact, I regretted even fixing dinner at all. And then finally, we were talking about QueensCare's return-to-work plan for next month and I mentioned that if we forced people to come back to the office, we would lose some folks. Me included. That must have set off something with her. She surmised that I would probably just retire. And so she brought up that maybe I should think differently and think about saving something for college for Johnnie? Huh? What? What business is it of hers what the fuck I do with my money? That's one of the biggest reasons why we got divorced! Is she that clueless. I openly questioned why we had to help at all. I didn't get any help. Neither did Lisa. We made out just fine. I realize I brought that up because she already hit one of my buttons. And I wasn't backing down. What business is it of hers if I retire or not? Does she not realize there are lines divorced people don't cross if they want to keep the peace? I mean I stay as far away from her business and her office as much as possible because even offering an opinion never results in a good outcome. And then when we talked about the schedule for Christmas, it would seem she is taking Johnnie for the better part of a week until New Years Day. Great. Of course I look forward to not seeing Johnnie for the next week <sarcasm> Can this night get any more negative for me?? And so from that point I did the dishes, brought in the trash cans, but only to get us out of there as soon as possible. Need to get to my apartment and do some big time decompressing. All I need to say is THAT IS WHY LISA AND I ARE DIVORCED.  Move back in? Yeah that's funny. Hilarious. Hey, at least my new Fitbit came EARLY!! I get a new toy to set up tonight!!

Another Golf Sunday

Another Sunday, another morning spent at the golf course, this time at Roosevelt. I had been playing decent for a little while now which means for about 6 weeks now, and I can at least hang my hat on the fact that I've shot par on the first hole 4 of the last 5 weeks. One of those was here at Roosevelt. And so when I swatted my first shot 200 yards right down the middle and got on the green pin level near the fringe after 2 shots, I SHOULD get it for a par right? I actually DID! Which made it 5 out of the last 6 weeks that I've shot par on the first hole. I actually didn't do so bad on the 2nd hole and even on the 3rd. And on the 4th hole after a not-so good tee shot I hit my 5 wood straight and right on the fringe. But I missed my par putt that time and settled for a 5. And on the next hole, Although i was again at the fringe pin level after 2 shots, I just lost focus and settled for a 6. Funny that Scott had been tracking our head-to-head hole wins and seemed serious about it, which meant I paid attention to it too. But he started to play well after this hole and declared he actually won this hole. We actually tied but I gave it to him since I was supposedly leading at that time 3-1. I seemed to lose focus completely after this hole. Gone were the straight shots down the line, replaced by topping the ball or mishits completely like I USED to do a couple of months ago. I allowed my swing to get speeded up, lost my rhythm like I had, lost my confidence. And I never won a hole again. And with Scott finding HIS rhythm, he won the last holes. How disappointing is that... not losing to Scott, but losing my focus! And it happened because I let Scott mentally think he won Hole 5. I never cleared that off my mind which brought back old programs about not doing well I'm sure. The last 4 holes were not how I have played in the last month. It remains to be seen if I can wipe out THIS stretch of play and regain my play from the past month(s). I need to let go of frustration, get to balance and focus. That's all it is. And it is disappointing how I started really well but lost it just as easily. There's a huge lesson there to be sure. Can't let up. 

Oh well, at least it was a nice day out and it even got pretty warm by mid-morning. On the way home, I didn't want to eat Mediterranean food today for lunch... for some reason I had a hankering for iN-N-Out and I stopped at IN-N-Out drive through near my apartment. I noticed that my fitbit had died out which meant all that walking around the golf course was never recorded. Probably time to get a new one. Hey that's about 3 miles of steps and maybe an hour's worth of active minutes. I'll just have to add it manually. There was no RAMS game to watch this afternoon since the Covid protocols had moved it to Tuesday. UCLA basketball is postponed now too since lots of people are testing positive. And the Lakers? They're affected too. They had no centers today and they were already not watchable. As in they're not the Lakers I passionately follow. They're a middling .500 team these days and there's some hope they can still kick it into gear after Christmas. The unexpected blip of a surprise was a text from Johnnie (see attached). They were over at Lisa Pereira's house in Santa Clarita and I guess he must have been bored or something because he wanted to talk to me. Awww. My Kid Bug. I had seen him Friday and Saturday and I don't usually see him on Sundays. But today we FaceTimed for about 5 minutes just so he could see my face and I think he was ok after that. Tomorrow is early pick up as it is as Lisa already told me she was dropping him off at 11 aM. It is all good. Weekend is over. Christmas week coming up.

The Lunch at Brooklyn's

So Lisa told me on very short notice yesterday that Brooklyn's mom invited she and Johnnie to come over for a small Christmas get-together today. I assumed I was invited too and told Lisa I wanted to go. To which, she had no objection to whatsoever. In my mind, when it came to Brooklyn and her family, it was already implied that I was invited. I see far more of Brooklyn and Bailey getting dropped off in the mornings at the school gate by her grandmother. It was me that took Johnnie to pizza the day of his actual birthday WITH Brooklyn and her mom. So for me there is actually a comfort level with this family and  I kind of surprised myself actually at the enthusiasm I showed about going. Hey it's Saturday and Johnnie and I are supposed to be hanging out today anyway aren't we? It was supposed to be a lunch at noon which gave me plenty of time to lollygag around MY house for a Saturday morning without any sense of urgency whatsoever. I got up, made myself some hot tea and Hawaiian bagel breakfast and watched some YouTube videos. And even had time to clean my toilet which I hadn't done in a couple of weeks. These days the apartment is cleaned in sections, and I get to the dirtiest  parts first. Or should I say visibly dirty LOL LOL.  And so I got to Lisa's house at 11:45 and Lisa was barely done taking a shower. Usually I'd be twitching mentally about being late but today, without that sense of urgency whatsoever I didn't care when we got there. We were definitely not late at all actually and when you go somewhere where you get the feeling that you're expected, it's all good. Very cool even. Besides Brooklyn, and Bailey there were a couple of other kids there already playing with some put-together-and-paint stuff and so Johnnie immediately joined them and launched into build mode. And then he wnet into play mode and would stay at that "setting" for the rest of the day.  The cool thing about the backyard of Brooklyn's grandmother's house was that there was a mini gym out there with monkey bars and  a mini rock wall and everything. The kids had a blast. Look at the pics I took of him hanging out with Brooklyn. They are pretty cute together I will admit. And so is little Bailey. In the meantime, Lisa and I did manage to socialize with the other adults that were there, particularly with Blair <Brooklyn's mom> and Michel <Brooklyn's grandmother>. We kind of went indoors because it had gotten warm out. The sun was out and it was a beautiful day. And Lisa and I were winterized, with sweaters and everything. I mean it  had been really cold all week. Which was why kept going inside LOL. Who knew it would warm up a bit today?!  They had plenty of food to be sure. We had turkey and stuffing and meatballs and lots of chips and dip. I will say that for the 2nd day in a row I had a really huge lunch, which is the earmark of the holiday season.  Hang out with friends, eat a lot. It didn't happen last year, it wasn't allowed. We were all doing the celebrate from the curb thing. Actual get-togethers are very much welcome this year. And then later on when Lisa got a call from the hair groomer that Claire was done with her haircut, of course she had to go get her and bring the dog to the party. Last time at Brooklyn's birthday party, the dog was pretty much a huge hit and so this time why would it be any different LOL? <see pic> The dog certainly did not want for attention. And even got a nice walk around the block in with several people from the party in tow. By the time we left the party it was well past 4 PM. And both Lisa and I were yawning. I could have used a nap at this point and I would have loved to go on home to do so. But Lisa sort of asked but didn't actually ask if I could stick around and watch Johnnie while SHE took a nap. Oh well, she gets to go first. At least I got a whole bunch of steps in while I was waiting for Johnnie's pizza to cook. Yes, by this time it was already dinner time for Johnnie, especially since he didn't really eat a whole lot of lunch. REally just a bunch of grapes and strawberries and crackers. In other words, his usual lunch LOL LOL. And so I basically made Johnnie 2 Trader Joe's pizza for dinner and by the time he got done, so did Lisa's nap. As soon as she came back down, out I went on home. I was tired too. Remember I need immediate downtime when winding down from social situations. I made a pit stop at Mitsuwa to get my dinner as well. Pork katsu curry over rice. Something that would heat me up on a cold night like tonight. And I spent the rest of Saturday night binge watching the Witcher on Netflix. And I thought it was pretty good actually.  And by the time I got too tired to keep my eyes open I merely reminded myself that I am in full on holiday mode already a week before Christmas. And the get-together's that I had already gone to, even in this time of a continuing pandemic, I felt grateful that I'm getting to celebrate it with other people and that this year is already way WAY better than last.

Holiday Cheer and the FRB

I woke up this morning and I already knew it wasn't going to be an ordinary Friday. I only had one meeting today but I also had cleared my schedule this afternoon so I could throw a holiday lunch for my teams. Boy, gone are the days when I only had to deal with a few people about that. Now I actually have 10 people on all 3 teams and I booked a table at El Cholo downtown so we could celebrate. Hey, last year we were in the middle of a surge with no vaccine just yet. This year, though the omicron variant is starting to surge as well, most of us are already fully vaccinated and not really as concerned. The absence of the concern is why we are getting the fastbreak to come back to the office at the FRB. And which is why I am there this morning. I wanted to check out what needed to be moved. I almost forgot how to badge in and get in to the parking lot LOL. It was familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time.  I also needed to get out of my own office and move my stuff to my "new" office which is Gloria's old office at the PAC. No more window <sigh> and I already felt claustrophobic in there. But hey, maybe I won't even have to think about occupying it at all huh? Anyway, taking my stuff down from the old office was really a non-event until I started taking Johnnie's pictures down. I moved into this office I believe in 2016 or 2017 so I had been here for a while. I took a pic of what this would have been on a Friday pre-pandemic with my feet up and everything LOL LOL. Anyway before I knew it, it was already 1 PM and time to walk over to the restaurant which was by the Staples Center. Since Faith had shown up today at the FRB as well I invited her to our holiday lunch. If this was a pre-pandemic Friday for sure we would have gone out somewhere to eat, foodies that both she and I are. Anyway I posted pics from the restaurant. I also had to announce that Kennedy was leaving and so this turned out to be a goodbye party as well.  He still simply wants to get reverted to part-time status, at least until I can find a replacement for him. Knowing our history with Victor, I am not so sure I could pull that one off. We'll see... In the meantime, at least for today we had a good time and we had a great lunch I thought...

As soon as lunch got done, I went back to the FRB simply to pick up my bag and go on home. It was a Friday after all. I would have been real happy to spend Friday night watching the new season of the Witcher but I got a phone call from Johnnie, fresh off his last day of school <see pic> asking if I could come over for dinner. I know Lisa was already tired and simply needed someone to watch him. Which I was very glad to do, even if I had to be at Lisa's house to do it. 

It's ok. I didn't eat all that much. I was still full from lunch <hey if I'm going to drop $400, may as well eat up right?> and I had eaten leftover spaghetti from last night too. As it was I  ended up washing dinner dishes anyway and since Lisa knocked off I gave Johnnie his shower and tucked him in bed. 2nd time I'm doing that at Lisa's house in less than a week. I love you my Kid Bug (a change from Little Bug at Johnnie's request). I'll see you tomorrow. And I had to stop and think thoughts of gratitude for a very good day.

Tests From the Universe

This was going to be a heavy meeting day all the way to 2:30 PM without even a break for lunch. How and why did I do that? And it got started at 9 AM with a OCHIN meeting that Eloisa had pinged me she was attending. I wonder why? She never attends these things. And when I looked at the agenda, it was heavier than I expected with lots of talk about HCCN. Maybe that's why she's attending. I note that this is ME again playing that old program of dread and fear that something bad is going to happen to my job. Did I not just note that I already have enough stashed for a year if I were to lose it? Which is precisely why I have to remind myself that this reaction is simply an old one that I need to re-condition and let go. And when I internalize that feeling that I have more than enough... a lot more, to replace the feeling of LACK, then I think commensurate results will also appear. As it was it seemed like all we needed to do was determine what projects to get done with HCCN for the year and then determine the champion and project leader. I always thought of myself as the project leader. It turned out Eloisa didn't want to be the project champion. She wanted me to be. And so I assigned Shilpa to be project lead for one of them and Lainie the other. And that was that. Yet again, much emotional sway over not much of anything really. Of course other stuff would come up. At the IS Team Meeting, Kennedy announced that he had taken another job. <sound of air coming out of my balloon> Man I invested time training this kid and he had finally developed this year into a key performer. And now I'm going to have to replace that position. Again. It's going to affect the department for a little bit to be sure. But am I really going to let this affect me? I remind myself a year ago when Lam left... I made it through that one just fine. I should be ok this time still. And it's funny while a team member gives me news of his departure in one meeting, in my next meeting I'm interviewing a new team member LOL. And we will probably hire her. The world moves on. I got one last TEST I think today, which came at my last meeting of the day with Barbara regarding an investigation of an unauthorized file access of a Queenscare staffer. or should I say unintentionally authorized file access. Barbara seems a little bent out of shape with this. I don't know what it was about her energy that completely turned me off and had me dismissing her as being overly grumpy today. Yes the person looked at files she wasn't supposed to. Hey, someone gave her access by mistake. Should she get fired for that? It wasn't her fault she got access. Slippery slope I think. I'm thinking I'm getting tested whether I want to continue to put up with this day-to-day stuff at QueensCare or be really ready to do something completely different and not do this job anymore. Of course, my solution is simply to retire and not have to work anymore. Live off dividends from my investments. $7500 a month after taxes. Withdraw $3500 every 2 weeks on auto from my investment account which continues to grow. I can live off that for a while I think. I will be just fine... 

In the meantime... once no longer working for anyone but myself, my focus will be my job as Johnnie's dad. I will say I watched Lisa fondly say goodbye to him on Monday night as she dropped off his rain stuff. That will be me tonight. Look at the pic I posted of him cleaning up the dining room table. That's all Lisa and I'm so glad because clearly I am NOT as dilligent with the neat and clean stuff. But boy he's telling me we can't have shoes in the house... he's asking to clean behind the couch. I couldn't be more pleased. The Universe may have thrown some tests at me today, but at the end of the day, it's what Johnnie and I do together is what counts. Traffic was really bad going to Panda Express even though it was barely 5 PM. Still like the parting of the REd Sea, while all these cars were competing for parking spaces like goofy nuts, I very quickly and easily found a space inside. And we were in and out of Panda Express with Johnnie's dinner in 5 minutes. And despite the traffic, we managed to weave our way home without really worrying about it too much. Johnnie had his teriyaki chicken and I made myself spaghetti and bolognese a la Arnel. And just chilled until Lisa called to pick up Johnnie around 8:30 PM. Yeah it was pretty late but I didn't care. We had already had our time together. And this is his last week of school before winter break after all. WE'll have plenty of time to spend together in the next 3 weeks. In the meantime, he spent the time waiting for his mom writing her a note and inventing a logo for his company. THAT is what I want to hear from my 7-yr old. Here is to hoping he doesn't spend 36+ years of his life working a 9-to-5, like his father just did and still does. Takes energy to get out of that program at this point but then again I did manage to amass some capital didn't I? It started to rain by the time Lisa got to my apartment. I didn't chit chat or talk about what was happening on Saturday which is really all I cared about. I could have sworn she replied with something to the effect of "I want you in my life" or something like that. I dismissed it because it felt out of context. I don't know whether I will see Johnnie this weekend and that's ok. Maybe it's time I get into the Christmas spirit LOL LOL. That I still gotta do.