Rush Rush Rush Kind of Day

It seemed like I was running around all day trying to get somewhere. Which is way odd since I'm supposed to be at this Leadership conference via Zoom for most of the day. So how do I explain all this running around when I'm supposed to be in front of my computer? First let me explain what the bulk of the workday was supposed to be about. Apparently we had hired a boutique consultant shop specializing in working with FQHCs to get them to be more profitable. It was pretty well organized but I couldn't help but be skeptical about the whole thing. I mean how many times have we engaged consultants to help us turn stuff around. With that said, I remind myself that even my IS Department was turned around from being the dumpster fire that it was when I got there with the help of consultants. These particular outfit used stuff from TED talks I was already familiar with... stuff from Simon Sinek which is a particular favorite of mine and so they were practically talking my language. And by the end of the day they had gotten the team to agree on 3 pretty audacious goals... and I still remember that February retreat with USC Stevens where I learned about BHAG... Big Hairy Audicious Goals. I think maybe I need to apply this in my personal endeavors as well yes? Anyway I'm not going to get into the specific goals now but all that meant was that everything was pretty packed in from 8:30 AM all the way until 3 PM. And of course with Johnnie being home I had to devise some activities for him to do. Fortunately his teacher Ms Hwang agreed to send him some class worksheets that we could pick up. And once my conference broke for lunch, I took off with Johnnie and picked those up. And then went right to Domino's Pizza to pick up a pepperoni pizza for Johnnie and I. I of course had to hit lunchtime traffic and considering we were only given a half hour for lunch, that made for me driving fast from home to MV Elementary to Dominos on Pico and then back. I made it just in time and I hadn't even had one bite yet. But this was nothing compared to the afternoon adventure. That's because Lisa had scheduled Johnnie to get a blood test. We never did get back the results of Johnnie's swab culture and so Lisa worked her ins with Dr. Raffi the allergist to get a blood panel done. Though the lab was pretty close to us... as in right by Jack-in-the-box on Centinela, I still had to deal with late afternoon traffic to get there. And then when they asked for my insurance card, I realized I had to go back and get it printed somehow. Why didn't I realize I was going to need it??  And so I went back, sent the pic as an email and printed it at Staples. And drove like a maniac to hustle back to the lab. Finally when we got there, it was time for Johnnie to get his blood test. Mind you I hate getting the damn thing done FOR MYSELF. With Johnnie being so skinny, the nurse had to have some help locating a vein. And when she finally found one, she still couldn't get any blood. And so she had to switch arms. And of course Johnnie was already screaming about how the first stab hurt! They finally got blood flowing on his other arm. But not without the screams of Johnnie. And I have to say there is no worse feeling that holding your child on your lap and he's still screaming about how it hurts.  Fortunately, he did manage to get through it and I took him immediately to get some ice cream at the Rite Aid next door.  And then very soon afterwards, since we were already in the area, we went to Panda Express Marina del Rey to get his dinner. How many times did we come to this particular location on a Tuesday way back in the day when Johnnie was in daycare?! I mean he was barely 3 years old. Has it been THAT long?! Anyway he wanted to eat there, probably remembering we would eat at those tables outside all those times all those years ago. And by the time we were done and headed home, he had completely forgotten about the blood draw. And he was back to his old self looking to watch his Wild Kratt videos. And so that is how I spent the last day of August 2021. Didn't quite expect it to be this hectic but we made it through and I spent the rest of the evening simply breathing out, glad that the day was done...

Monday Short Week Last Days of August

This week shouldn't be all that bad at work. After all, it's a short week for me. In fact, the next TWO weeks are short weeks since I'm bookending Labor Day weekend with my birthday day off on Friday. Still I remind myself to be aware... after all, I was sort of blindsided with the whole chickenpox thing from Johnnie and then the Lisa blow-up. It's not at all impossible that one was related to the other. I think the Universe is still testing me actually. This morning I try to put all that aside and remind myself that it is STILL my birthday week this week, falling right in the middle of the week in fact and I should not let anything bug me. With Lisa deciding to hold Johnnie back from school pretty much for the rest of the week that does mean she gets to tote him around all day today whatever she is doing. She was talking about Pilates, about piano lessons in Pasadena and then having Johnnie hang out with her mom. Yep, Lisa just doing her Lisa things. At least I didn't have to think about Johnnie for the day. I reprised last week's walk around the Sawtelle/Sepulveda corridor and took a pic of the 405 Freeway while I was on the last leg of the walk back to the apartment. Eezy-peezy 5000 steps and almost 50 minutes already before I even took my morning shower. And then I tried to put my head down to finish the HRSA reports due tomorrow. Yep they're due tomorrow. But tomorrow is also that almost-all-day Leadership thing with a partner who's supposed to help facilitate operational efficiency efforts. Yep, I'm rolling my eyes. We'll see how this one goes.  I don't even know why I'm involved other than I am providing resources they need. Data. IS Support. EHR support. Ok I guess I have to participate to understand what it is that's going to go on. As it was I barely got my reports done by mid-afternoon. I had a French dip sandwich from Marie Callenders for lunch and it did not sit well with my stomach this time. Anyway I did get a call from Lisa around 5 PM. She's heading back to her mom's house to pick up Johnnie and they're going to be back around 7-ish. She also mentioned she had a soccer game tonight and it was actually a pretty meaningful game. Her team made the Finals I guess and so I agreed to come watch. Since Johnnie isn't going to school tomorrow, then it's ok to have him stay up until late as well. I hurriedly did my steps so I'd at least be at or close to 15000 by the time Lisa dropped Johnnie off. Wouldn't you know the next time I hear from her, they're already at her house and she's doing god knows what. Lisa being Lisa again. She keeps having it in her mind that I'm there. That's the only way I can explain why she makes choices that somehow circumvents me being in my apartment. She didn't drop Johnnie off. She told me she could leave Claire while we watched the game. Huh what? I had no intention of coming back to her house after. And so I took the dog and dropped her off at my apartment, and then drove back with Johnnie to the soccer field. I didn't mention that it was almost exactly 4 years ago that Lisa's team DDStrykers won the championship at this same field. The last time they did I think. Felt like there had been a lot of unraveling since then. There were some usual faces of course. Paul and Jennifer and the other Jennifer. And Chris her brother. People are starting to look older and less athletic. Chris I could remember would run around all day. He wasn't doing that tonight LOL. Paul I could remember was a rock in the back line. He wasn't doing that tonight. And Lisa... well Lisa is just Lisa. She gets a goal here and there and generally just tries not to mess up. Which is perfectly ok. She's still living sort of the dream of being able to play right? Johnnie and I stuck around to watch for most of the game. Look at him hanging around the fence. This is not the little boy that ran around way back when he was not even 3 years old. Kind of like old times. I even got a hug from Paul and Jen. But this time I did not feel like part of the group and that was ok. I'm just here to watch. Paul and Jen know Lisa and I are no longer together. But I think they're the only ones that know. The game was actually close throughout the first half with the other team clinging to a 1-0 lead. Some familiar faces on the other side too. Hard to believe this used to be MY life on Monday nights back in the day. But that was a long time ago now. And tonight, when the other team got another couple of goals, I packed us up and headed on home. Back to the apartment. Back to Monday night. Johnnie might not be going to school tomorrow. But I have a long day at work and so he needs to be kept busy with schoolwork of his own. I asked Ms Hwang his teacher to give him some worksheets that his class is working on to keep him occupied. Thank God  I've got something...

Golf Day

With all the emotional crap happening from the past week, nothing like a round of golf on a Sunday morning - AS USUAL - to make the world right again. We were at Roosevelt this morning, Scott and I joined by Daniel Healy and a Penmar regular just trying this course out for the first time. I didn't really care how I played today, I was just glad to be out there. That isn't true. OF COURSE i care about how I played. I always do! But I haven't had a decent golf game in a while now and I simply don't wish to dwell on the negative. Too much of that already in the past few days. If EVERYTHING IS ME PUSHED OUT, and I was actually aware of how my patience was wearing thin all week long already, then I also have to bear at least part of the responsibility for some of the negative experience right? And so today I just told myself I'm going to make whatever adjustment I need to do shot by shot and see what happens. All the bad shots are mental I do know that. Nothing physical about them at all. The confusing part is how bad I am at the fairways and how I am pretty competent on my tee shots. I mean first hole... line drive straight down the middle landed 60 yards from the hole. 2nd shot missed the green as an overshoot but that wasn't bad. Missed the par putt from there. 2nd hole was terrible. I dribbled down the fairway. In the meantime, Scott had pars on 2 of the first 3 holes and landed his fairway on the 2nd hole in 3. On the next 3 holes I had really nice tee shots. Followed up by decent 2nd shots. Hole 4 i was on the fringe after 2, same with Hole 5 actually. But I missed par putts on both. And they weren't even close. Hole 6 I almost hit Daniel again standing off to my right. THAT was mental. And a repeat of the same mishit from the first time he played with us on this course. I REALLY NEED TO WORK ON MY MECHANISMS AND MY RHYTHM. I missed a long par putt on Hole 7 and on Hole 8 I did manage a bogey after my first 2 shots were good again. If not for landing my 3rd shot in the sand I might have had a par. And then finally on the last hole, I was on the fringe after the tee shot. And again missed a par putt. So I actually didn't play too badly. I guess I have to practice my putts. Or at least get the approach shot closer huh? At least I got out to play and get my head straight. Everything is ok.

With golf all done, I looked forward to just cruising the rest of my Sunday like I always do. I binged a little on Person of Interest last night, meaning I stayed up until 1 AM. Which meant that a nap this afternoon would do me very well. It was a hot day out there today and although I took advantage of the shade whenever I could (see pic... or is that annoying look because of the way I was playing?) and then picked up salmon kabobs and lentil soup at Sidewalk Grill on Vermont. I was actually home by noon and eating my lunch 15 minutes thereafter. And I did actually manage a 20 minute nap although my Fitbit didn't recognize it. I still got to close my eyes and let my body sort of do self-recovery. Afterwards I thought about the week that was and despite the emotional blip courtesy of Lisa towards the end of the week, I actually felt good that Johnnie and I got to spend some really quality time together starting Monday. Who knew that that trip to the doctor would be the highlight of the week?! Later on, Lisa would call to report that Johnnie is now developing new spots on his face and neck which meant that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to hold him back from school a little longer. I must admit that I really wanted him to go to school tomorrow, only because I did not like the idea of him falling behind though that thought in itself is probably not rooted in reality. He's ahead in reading in math I'm sure. It's writing I would focus for him to get better at. Maybe it's a control thing with me, sort of an ethic I wanted Johnnie to model. Show up every day, work harder than everybody else. Mamba mentality. Then again I have to remind myself he's not even 7 years old. My gut actually says that if he's exhibiting more spots, it's a message and we need to heed it. And so I agreed with Lisa. And then when I got off the phone, I did a remote healing session for Johnnie. He'll be ok. After all, i reminded myself that all that bothered me last week sort of took care of themselves didn't they? All goes in my favor doesn't it?!! Worried about Lisa's healthcare insurance transition? She took care of it herself! Done and done! Should give me at least an extra $250 in my paycheck! And so I worked on calming my own controlling mind. And made myself some beef stew for dinner. And watched an episode of the Walking Dead. And almost fell asleep on the couch. Ready for a new week. Short week. My birthday week. Should be interesting. But most important... have i recovered from Lisa's latest barrage. I think so. I hope so :)...

Like nothing happened

I was prepared to go the entire weekend all the way to Monday night that I won't see Johnnie. And I already resoved within myself that I'm simply going to be ok with that.  Who knows what she's thinking and feeling right about now. This being Saturday, it's actually a day to hang out with Johnnie for the monring. But I didn't count on that at all. Which is why I walked to McDonald's first thing to get my own breakfast. I've got lots to keep me busy anyway. Until I get a call of course from Lisa's phone. And of course it's Johnnie asking me when I'm going to pick him up.  Of course my son is going to keep the routine. The question was whether Lisa would let him. And in the background I could hear her telling him to ask me to bring chocolate chips for his pancakes. And to ask me if I wanted pancakes and eggs. Or just eggs. Like nothing ever happened right? She would always be that way after every single fight we had. I guess it's a narcissist thing. And she would always frame it like I was the bad guy. I need to be prepared to deal with that mentally and emotionally if I'm going over there this morning. And so I did some meditation, cleared my emotions and made sure I was calm and relaxed. When I get there true enough, Lisa is acting like nothing happened.  Of course she does. That's what she always does. I told her I already had breakfast and she said something to the effect of.. "but it's breakfast morning" and proceeded to make me bacon and eggs anyway. And asked me to help make OJ. Like nothing happened.  And so it was that we did have a sit-down breakfast like a typical Saturday morning. And so it was that she finally addressed it but not quite directly. In fact, it was almost like an oh-by-the-way kind of thing. She even pulled me to one side and said "you know Johnnie says you're not nice to me sometimes".  I know Johnnie wouldn't say that. But I went along anyway. It was like this is how she perceives the information and somehow it is twisted around in her own mind.  I know this because the very first thing that I asked Johnnie when we drove off was if she thought I was mean to mommy. What does he way... he said he told his mommy that she was being mean to ME. That was about last Thursday.  Of course narcissist Lisa had already worked it out in her head that she is the victim. And that I need to change MY behavior. SMH. Just Lisa being Lisa. It's all I can say that would make it semi-ok. Because you can't change the perception of a narcissist. It's almost like a personality disorder. Nothing you can do. Just something you need to manage within yourself. 

At least Johnnie and I DID get to spend the morning together. Look at my little monkey making like a lizard in my living room. He cracks me up that little boy of mine. AND I even went to the grocery store. Multiple ones mind you to buy Lisa some groceries. I end up messing up of course because I had no idea what cashew yogurt was and so I got her yogurt AND cashews. But at this point effort should count. Oh wait it doesn't. Not with narcissists. smh. Still like nothing ever happened. Johnnie and I ended up going to Mitsuwa grocery, and then Ralphs, and then Trader Joe's. And since we were already on Olympic, might as well make a stop at Panda Express for Johnie's lunch. It was already 11:30 AM anyway. I killed time by getting my own lunch at Carls' Jr. Had been a while since I had the Beyond Western bacon cheeseburger anyway. ANd throw in some onion rings with those please. As it was I let Johnnie watch his usual Wild Kratts and then dropped him off by 1 PM. I gave Lisa 3 hours to herself this morning at least. And then I took off, headed for my nap. In the end it ended up being a quite rest of my Saturday. And it turned out to be quite the sports Saturday at that.  Watched UCLA football start its season by walloping Hawaii 44-10. Do I allow myself some semblance of hope for UCLA football this season? Could they actually have a good season? And then I watched the Dodgers beat Colorado. And then the Rams were actually playing a preseason game too. We're at that time of year when baseball is started to gear up towards the end or its season and the playoffs, the college football season is starting and so is the NFL in a couple of weeks. Yep, fall is just around the corner. Tonight I made myself a pizza like last week. Boboli crust, made it myself with pepperoni and pineapple. Was very very good. And still did some more meditation. I am not recovered from Thursday. At least with the "it's just Lisa being Lisa, dumbass" (meaning I'M the dumbass for letting it affect me and expecting HER to be different) method to deal with it, it's going to be ok. I'm going to be ok. 

Recovery

Lisa's episode yesterday, justified may it have been in her own mind because she was having a terrible week at work and  she was already ready to snap, made me do some time travelling to 2017. Bad idea. It only made me remember things that I thought I had already gotten over. Like how she was having a blow-up every other week it seemed. It turned out that that I was in the middle of a purging process that lasted months, probably longer than it should have. But even though thinking about those old negative memories were not pleasant, it also made me realize that I am where I am because of them. And even though I travelled there, I didn't need to stay. This morning, I tried to play things like we had discussed. But of course, there really was no way Lisa would remember the stuff we did discuss, because she doesn't. She just works on what she needs to do at that moment. I knew she had a medication drip scheduled at Cedars-Sinai and we had talked about me driving her after dropping Johnnie off at school. I even generated a day-pass for Johnnie. Then I get a text from Lisa... she has Elaine coming by to take care of Johnnie. My first thought was... why didn't she just reach out to me? Wouldn't that make better sense? I decided I was not going to let myself feel bad about this. And that I had no idea what is driving Lisa's decisions right now. She must be feeling bad about blowing last night no? Then again, did she ever all those previous times? She will find a way to turn it in her own mind that it is my fault somehow. That I can't do anything about. She did quickly add in her text that she was sorry for being "emotional" and that it was because of the procedure she's going through this morning. Ok. Right. All that meant to me was that I needed to do whatever emotional and mental clearing and cleansing I do in order to get back to balance. To become aware of whatever hurt and anger and other crap that comes up and simply let them pass. I went through flips and flops all day long really. Sometimes anger would come up. Whatever scar and scabs that have grown over the wounds these past years seemed to have been opened a little. And so just like any other scar, I have to put medicine on it again and let it heal. Again. And that's ok. At other times I felt some compassion towards Lisa. She must realize that she is alone and I'm sure seeing those pictures without her in them punctuated that. If I could do those over again so I could somehow get pictures printed I would. I mean I'm a tech superhero. I can do anything digitally. But I didn't. So she is off to her procedure this morning, Johnnie is being held off from school again and Elaine is watching him for most of the day. Ok then.  

And so I tried to bury myself in other things today just to keep my mind from bugging over not watching Johnnie. Or him not being in school. A part of me doubted that the Elaine thing was even true. A part of me thought Lisa held Johnnie back just so she could buy time to do her own pictures.  In the end does any of that really matter? I occupied my thoughts with other things. The stock market jumped today because of a speech by the head of the Fed. Made me look at my assets. Nice that I am hovering at $900K. I am an almost-millionaire. I can feel it.  And doing some calculations shows me doing at least $85K in income and that's after taxes. That means I already maintain my current lifestyle for the rest of my life! I must admit that sounds pretty damn good actually. The rest of the afternoon I actually focused on work. Did the EHR team meeting. Did the timecards of my guys. Even almost got in the middle of Shilpa and James trying to fix something. Why Shilpa has to ping me instead of James directly I don't know why. Why James makes himself so unavailable I don't know why either. I almost felt irritation towards both but more towards Shilpa. And I realize that is just residual negative energy and anger I'm harboring from my own situation.  I have to watch that. No need to take it out on other people too.  By the end of the day, they did manage to fix whatever was wrong with the dashboards and we're all good again. AND I got myself a fresh haircut from Supercuts too. I'll call it my birthday haircut. Yep, I have a birthday coming up don't I? It turned out to be a pretty warm day today... as if the summer is still trying to remind us it isn't quite ready to go just yet. It was actually nice out too. It doesn't feel like late summer. More like early summer. I got myself some shaved beef and did a beef and baby broccoli stir fry over rice for dinner. Something healthy. Pretty good too if I may say so myself. I earmarked this day to recover emotionally and mentally and I think I did just that actually. The difference between being able to do it without Lisa in the house and with a choice not to have to deal with her if I didn't want to. What's going to happen this weekend? Do I get to see Johnnie? Who knows. I prepared myself not to. And that's ok.

Lisa Goes Completely Agro

It had been a while since Lisa had blown a gasket and gone nuclear. I mean she has had her moments being irritable and unpleasant but I think it was 4th of July last year when she and I actually had a blow-up over the phone. Which is why I keep telling people she and i are actually better friends now. I actually looked back at past journal entries and in December 2017, she really blew up... and then went on with her day with Feifei and Johnnie's brothers. Why was I looking back at all? Because today her niceness streak ended with a BANG. Boy she had one of those Lisa blow-ups that would just shake me to my core. And it happened because of those god damn pictures. She had come to pick up Johnnie per the usual Thursday pick-up. She must have had a tough day because we went to her truck and she was leaning back with her eyes closed. She had confided in me earlier in the week that she was having issues at work because Nikki had tested positive for Covid... and that she was officially leaving for maternity anyway. With her gone, and with a couple of assistants also leaving for one reason or the other, I can understand where Lisa was feeling underwater. And when she told me I simply told her that I know she will figure things out. Nothing I can do to help her. All I could do was encourage. Tonight it would have been nice and easy for her to just drive off. But nope, she had to ask to look at the pictures. And of course she noticed she was not in any of them. I could see that THAT bothered her. But what was I to do? I had no pictures of them to print, no Hawaii pictures. I thought she was going to send them to me but she didn't. And now she is growing upset by the minute. And she started yelling at me. Her tone was angry. I told her I am not going to be yelled at. Shit, I was practically in my parking lot. She could blow her gasket at her house. Not at mine. And so I walked away. Fuck her. When I made it in to my apartment she calls. NOW she's angry. She told me I wasn't being nice, I wasn't being helpful. Oh yeah. It's MY fault of course. Narcissistic bitch. Of course I understand that her office is all consuming right about now. But I tried to tell her that her yelling at me was not going to solve anything. This is NOT 2017. And I told her in no uncertain terms she needed to cool off. And then she started screaming... "I SUCK AT EVERYTHING OUTSIDE OF BEING A DENTIST" was what I caught on the phone. Ok that was it. I went outside to go get Johnnie. It was one thing to blow up at me. I was NOT going to let her do that in front of Johnnie. But when I got to the building parking lot where they were, the truck was no longer there. I guess she had left. What a way to fuck up my evening huh?! Just Lisa being her worst self. Nothing much to say or do except to get myself to calm down. Get some Ho'onoponopono chants in. As for Johnnie, he is now under Lisa's watch for better or worse. I hope he's ok. 

The Photo Project

This being a Thursday and all, I didn't exactly have a heavy day at work. Johnnie was still being held out of school, hopefully for the last day. But I did manage to focus on a project of his. He was supposed to collect photos to make a collage. From the way his teacher described it, it was sort of to help him think of stuff to write about, so he can write about himself and communicate to his classmates. Writing prompts such as it were. At first I had collected pics that I had of Johnnie's activities. Soccer. Tennis at Lisa's garage. High-kicking off the trampoline. Karate class. And then I collected those of the people he is in contact with. His brothers of course. Brooklyn of course. I wanted to get one of Kavena and Makahinu but I didn't have any pictures from their latest Hawaii trip. That was what Lisa was working on last Monday. And supposedly, she had 5 or 6 pictures she was supposed to give me. At lunchtime, she actually called to check in and I sent her the email address at Staples to make it see. All she had to do was mail the pics to the address and I print them. Johnnie and I did 2 trips to Staples today actually, specifically just to print the pictures. What are you going to bet Lisa will get not get it right? Like send them really large sizes. I didn't really think much of it, we can still figure out a way to print them later on when she picks up Johnnie. In the meantime, Johnnie and I were still hanging out, getting fried chicken at lunch, getting Panda Express dinner early. It was all good for a Thursday. And we ended up collecting a good 25 pictures for his project. I put in one picture of Johnnie and I. None of Lisa and Johnnie. Mainly because I don't have any of those from later than when I still was at the Maplewood house. Quietly by the way, Monday was the anniversary of the move to the Maplewood house. Which was not a happy memory at all. Not for me anyway. 

MidWeek Meetings Day

"I have something to tell you this morning Dad", Johnnie said. "I love you". Awww. Already it's a good morning! Made me lollygag in bed longer than I wanted. I felt like I didn't really work a whole lot yesterday, today was make-up for that. I had a meeting as early as 9 AM  and I had 2 meetings following that. And then one more early afternoon for good measure  All that to say I had to line up stuff for Johnnie to do WELL before I got started with my work day. I thought I got him started with the writing track pretty well yesterday and I wanted to continue that. And so I made him write an entire page on whatever he watched this morning. He obliged very nicely, so much so I had to record his soliloquy on the creatures he was trying to describe.  All that folded in nicely as a matter of fact as I went from one meeting to another. And actually the first 2 meetings did not even last a half hour each. I had to remind myself that the big deal was to get Johnnie's lunch started around the time I am walking Claire outside mid-morning. Fortunately, I was well stocked for the week in terms of snacks and lunch stuff. And Johnnie was very much satisfied with the baby ravioli from Target. Funny, this was his staple food FIVE years ago, especially when we were travelling. And here he is, he's still eating it LOL. And so here I am settling in to another day of what was last year's routine only this time I have to make up lessons for Johnnie to keep him busy. At least I have him doing writing exercises to shore up what I perceive to be a weakness of his. I am posting his lesson for this morning and I thought he did pretty good actually. The rest of the morning I spent gathering up pictures for Johnnie's project for this week. After all, I'm still thinking he should be back to school by Friday. He was supposed to collect pictures and make a collage that can be used as writing prompts so he is able to tell his classmates what he is all about. I've got lots of pictures of course, which is why I was perplexed that Lisa was so absorbed over a bunch of pictures simply from their Hawaii trip.  Anyway I couldn't print any pictures today but I will be sure to do those tomorrow. 

By the afternoon I had one more meeting to go and this one happened to be with a bunch of the execs, including Eloisa my CEO. Always need to be on my guard when she attends, simply because I have no idea what she knows and understands. Whatever she does or doesn't I simply have to remind myself that all of this has very little to do with me and so I can not possibly take it personally. In my own mind, I thought it was more important to focus on some activity that will get Johnnie exercising and moving around. After all, that is what STAR was for.  Yesterday we did good playing baseball and I must say I'm pretty impressed that Johnnie is developing his hand-eye coordination pretty well. Today he had it in his mind he was going to practice basketball and so I let him play with the smallish plastic ball and try to imagine moves. I mean is this any different than the makeshift basket and paper mache ball we used to play with back in my childhood days in the Philippines? Now we're talking way way back. Kids will find a way to play that is for sure. And in the end, he managed to get his exercise in. And his math, and his reading and his writing too. I even got him to watch a couple of old Cat Ninja read-to-me books just like a year ago. I was satisfied that he had HAD a full day. As for me, I was obviously needing to carve out time to do some meditation and focusing exercises although I have this feeling I've done enough in terms of the wealth magnification exercises. I took a peek at my account and all together I have now passed the $900K mark in terms of my personal assets. I'm almost a 401K millionaire! That's got to be awesome! I let Johnnie do his Wild Kratts until well past 9 PM. By then I had given Claire her bath too. Man, this dog's fur is really getting matted. She REALLY needs a grooming. But nope, Lisa said no when I broached it a few weeks back and I'm letting it go at that. Johnnie went to bed and fell asleep almost immediately, and so I turned over and I watched the Dodgers Padres game. Only...it went extra innings. I had turned the iPad off, gotten my eyes closed and an hour later went back outside because I couldn't sleep. And the game was still on! It had gone on 16 innings! At least the Dodgers did win. And I finally did get to sleep. Week halfway done.

Week Is Now Upside Down

And so with yesterday's events at the doctor's office, the week is now upside down and not really because I am that much buried work. Not at all. Just that the routine I had been building has now been upended. I will admit that I had a particularly nice time hanging out with my son at Playa Vista... even allowing myself to think that someday I will probably be living in this area targeting a condo buy around here someplace. I like the proximity to everything and that the place definitely had a upper class suburbian vibe. Anyway now my attention shifts to the routine a year ago when Johnnie started kindergarten online.  I didn't mind that routine really, especially since Johnnie was pretty much occupied throughout the morning with class. But to be sure, my head was flipping back and forth between work stuff and getting Johnnie in and out of classes. And today though that was my intent, I had very little time to prepare and get some stuff lined up. Fortunately, I did ask his teacher what we needed to do if Johnnie were down and at home for most of this week. She let me know they're in the middle of reading and writing assessments and that they have that assignment at the end of the week to write something about themselves. I know that writing is Johnnie's weakness. Not that he's not able to write, but he still has to work on his writing mechanics and his letters and definitely his spelling. And with that I am also trying to encourage him to learn to put his thoughts and feelings on paper. That really isn't something he has problems with just that he has to be pushed into high levels of emotion to do that. In other words, he does that when he's really mad, or really angry or really sad or if his feelings are really hurt. And so the first thing I got him to do this morning was to a couple of writing exercises. I asked him to write about one of his favorite things. So he ended up writing about Claire. I also asked him to write about what he just watched on YouTube regarding Coyote Peterson. I mean he's really good about regurgitating all that stuff verbally. It's just a matter of getting him to express himself in writing is all. I tried to give him a balanced day. Gave him some reading exercises, some double-digit math addition and subtraction stuff. AND for sure I got him a 30 minute karate exercise with DojoGo again. And for once he had his lunch on time at noon. I haven't forgotten when he would eat at 11:20 a year ago because he had a class at noon. Anyway, by the time he got through all these things, It was already 3 PM. Hey not too bad for an impromptu homeschool day LOL.  All the while, I was monitoring his symptoms. I mean they haven't gotten appreciably better, but they hadn't gotten any worse either. Which means he is probably not all that badly infected and definitely not too badly affected. In the meantime, it WAS a work day after all and I thought about this time last year and I suppose I wasn't being pushed all that hard. I mean, I hadn't taken over Data Analytics yet, nor had I taken over EHR. What would I have been so busy doing LOL?? Just being a work-from-home-dad with his kid starting kindergarten online that's what. In retrospect it didn't start out as smoothly as one would hope. But it did end up getting going just fine. And I remind myself that at the end of the day it was a GIFT to have been able to spend all that time with Johnnie working from home. And that this week is merely more of the same. I mean I do want to be simply a stay-at-home dad don't I? Well guess what. The Unverse is asking me if I'm sure about that. Hey if I didn't need to worry about work stuff, then most definitely YES! We went out and about and made it to Panda Express for our dinner afterwards, leaving Claire at home and despite having my attention always being diverted, I still managed to finish my 11,000 steps and 60+ active minutes today. Tomorrow is more of the same since JOhnnie is supposed to stay home through at least tomorrow and more likely Thursday with Friday being his first chance to go back to school. I think we're all good. And I dare say I think Johnnie liked hanging out with dad for the day. Even when I gave him a discipline moment when he yanked Claire's leg so hard she yelped. I had to let him know in no uncertain terms that THAT was not acceptable. All was ok otherwise. Fortunately, it's lookin' like a chill week.

Chickenpox? Really?

So I noticed a week ago Johnnie had itchy red spots all over his torso. At the time I didn't really think all that much about it, other than maybe just another onslaught of bugs at Lisa's house because... what else could it be? We went on and about for the week until I picked him up Saturday and when I gave him a shower then, it had gotten worse. As in, there were lots more. Since it didn't get worse until I handed him off to Lisa's last Thursday, then my brain assumed this was yet another bug onslaught from Lisa's house. I did mention it to Lisa on Saturday and we simply agreed to watch it and see if it gets worse. This morning Lisa called me first thing and decided it was time to see the doctor since it had not gotten any better either. She already floated the idea that this looked like chickenpox. Chickenpox?? I thought he was vaccinated for that... Anyway, THAT would be something to be determined by a doctor. I figured Lisa was going to take him to Cedars-Sinai Urgent Care this morning. However.  in the event that THAT went sideways, I decided this morning I'd get a whole lot of my steps done first thing. And so I ran/walked from my house to BofA on Sepulveda and then on to Burger King almost a half mile away and then on home. I easily got to 5500 steps and 42 Active minutes. At least no matter what I knew the path to 15000 steps total for the day was not so bad at all. On the walk back Lisa called again and let me know Cedars-Sinai Urgent Care does not open until noon but that she had a 2 PM appointment. Oh well, I guess I take Johnnie to Urgent Care then. That by itself was not at all a big deal. I didn't really even think it was chickenpox. But it had to be something. Better to find out for sure. I got to Lisa's house to pick up Johnnie at 11:45, hoping to get to Urgent Care as soon as it opens at noon. Not a chance. Lisa was making Johnnie ramen for lunch. And was working on the pictures for Johnnie's collage assignment later on this week. Same assignment I just alerted her to when she called this morning. And all of a sudden our interaction devolved into an argument over what pictures to print for what. I told her I simply do not understand what she does with digital stuff or why she does what she does. Why she needs 2 sets of 80 printed pictures. But hey if that's what she wants I pulled the USB stick from her media player and told her to copy the pictures there. She can print whatever she wants as much as she wants. I told her I would handle whatever pictures Johnnie needs for his homework. As it should be. I mean I don't even understand why we're talking about the stupid pictures ANYWAY. I'm here to pick up Johnnie to take him to the doctors. PERIOD. And when we finally FINALLY left it was already almost 12;20PM. By the time we checked in at Cedars Sinai Urgent Care Playa Vista, we were told there was at least an hour wait. Sigh. Exactly what I was trying to avoid. Still I hadn't had lunch yet and they told us they'd call us when they an operatory for us. And so I took the opportunity to go to Whole Foods to grab lunch. And while we were at it, Johnnie and I got to hang out over the Playa Vista outdoor shopping area. We discovered he can now ride a 20" bike. That there is a HealthySpot that could probably do Claire's grooming over the weekend if Lisa wanted as they had open slots in Santa Monica. That Johnnie would enjoy fuzbol. It took an hour before they called us. And the NP didn't exactly say it was exactly chickenpox because he didn't have fever nor he had a lack of appetite. Quite the opposite on the last one actually. And he was current with his vaccinations. It's probably one of those breakthrough cases for virus. Meaning he has chickenpox lite. Sigh. But he still has to stay home for the next few days while his lab results officially come back. Double sigh. Look at him gulping down a milkshake afterwards. Does that look like a kid sick with chickenpox to you? LOL. Oh well we went by Lisa's and picked up the dog and did the hand-off early. And now I will have to figure out what to occupy him with for the next few days. Even with all the interruptions, I still managed to get to 15,000 steps tonight. All the way to 16,000 even! And Johnnie had his chicken noodle soup and I had my double chicken tostada salad from El Pollo Loco. We're all good, just like it were a usual Monday. I'm not sure what this bout of chickenpox is all about other than it just wrecks the entire routine for the week. And maybe THAT is the point.  I'm not going to overthink that one too much. Lucky for me, it doesn't seem to be a busy week at work. Not after TEch Council week anyway. Not busy for me at all...

A Hole In One

How rare is a hole in one? 12,500 to one said Google. Have I played 12,500 holes by now? Even having played for what, 14 years now? I don't think I've played 12,500 holes just yet. In fact, some golf publication did the math and figured that if you played 9 holes once a week, which is what I do, it would take me 64 years to have an average chance of getting one! So maybe it's not such an uncommon thing never to have done it, let alone witness it. But today that all ended. No I did not do the hole in one. It was the 8th hole at Harbor Park. The shortest par 3 in the course. I usually leave mine short. Today I not only left mine short but I chunked it right into the sand. However this older gentleman we played with today, by the name of Tomas, hit his tee shot straight and right at the hole. He hit it short but it rolled and rolled and rolled. We all thought it was a great shot already especially when it continued to roll. And then we all just saw it disappear. And then we knew. He had just hit a hole-in-one! Funny thing is that I yelped loud as if I had hit it! I mean this was the first time in my experience I saw someone do it. And so to me, it was like a great example of someone being able to beat the odds. And I am HAPPY to use that example to whatever I need to in MY experience! If this can happen in the golf course, perhaps it could happen too in like say... the stock market? Or any other thing I want to do or have where the odds against might seem to be large?  

Anyway that hole-in-one made today's golf round a memorable though definitely not because of the way I played. First of all I mishit my very first shot off the first tee. It was so bad I had to start with a mulligan. After which I proceeded to whack it down the middle, mishit my 2nd shot, get my 3rd shot on the green pin high and make a long 20 foot putt for a par! It would end up being my only par for the day. And symbolize my play for the day actually. Some shots were great. Some shots awful. Hugely inconsistent was I, even though you can see from the way I dressed, i was dressed casual even for golf. No golf shoes, no collar on my shirt. The 2nd hold I practically dribbled the ball 50 yards per shot until I missed the putt and finished with a legit 8 LOL. I finally got on my bearings by the 3rd shot on the long Hole 3. And unleashed 2 great irons in a row from the fairway to get on the green. That's after a bad shot off my wood. Same with hole 4. Good shot, bad shot good putt. Which is where I took the pic. I finally settled down around Hole 6. Got a bogey on that one, and again on Hole 7 even though I had a horrid shot with a wood that went to the other fairway. Mind you I was hitting from the middle of the fairway from a great first shot. So what should have been a par ended up being a bogey. Then of course came the Hole in one. And then I just cruised through the last hole.  I stopped at IN-N-Out El segundo on the way home. Had a nice double double. And got home by 1:45 in time to take a nap. It was already a good day even though the golf game itself had a very late start. Considering that, getting home before 2 PM AND with lunch already done was still pretty good. I finished off the last episodes of the DEFEATED, then basically sat on my couch for the rest of the afternoon. Dodgers lost but they had won 9 in a row prior to today so no worries. Wanted to do beef roast for dinner but didn't want to cook. A perfectly cooked on from Ralphs for $6 over rice worked out just fine. And then I watched the season premiere of the Walking Dead. Honestly I'm starting to lose interest actually. Too many other Walking Dead stuff every other month it seems. It was still about 11:30 PM by the time I got to bed. It was still a pretty good weekend.

A Johnnie Saturday

I was happy to go back to the Saturday routine - you know... the one where Lisa works all day which meant I get to watch Jonnie all day too. Hopefully he would have brushed off the incident he cried over on Thusday night. Hey it was traumatic for me too. But I have brushed it off already myself. And when I picked up Johnnie this morning, it was like my giggly, funny, playful son was back. I would not have it any other way. And today he even suggested we go to Elysee. And so there we were eating the usual: scrambled eggs, sausage and a croissant with some fresh squeezed OJ. It's funny to see him with his head almost a foot over the counter. I can still remember when he was 2 feet below it LOL. And of course they still remember his name. We don't come here quite as often anymore. But today we did still come and I had to drive by the old penthouse apartment on our way home too. AND make a stop at Target to get some of Johnnie's lunch essentials for next week. He got me to buy him some Minecraft Lego's too. Little does he realize I bought those as some sort of reward because he read a Grade 2 level story about where the sun and the day came from. It was just sitting there in the book rack. I can remember too when he could barely read a kinder book.  Man is he growing fast. I looked at the bike I bought him almost exactly a year ago. He learned to ride that within a month. And then outgrew it a few more months later. Now I have to buy him a much bigger bike LOL.  The little baby is all but gone and now we have us a little boy. Still very much a child, but not a toddler anymore either.  The clothes that fit him now are on a different rack at Target too and in about a month this little boy turns 7. For some reason that made me smile. Of course my birthday comes before his and that is in a little over a week. I didn't really make any special effort to do something different today he and I. It felt like a weekday even. I gave him a shower first thing, noticed all the bug bites in his upper body <and made a mental note to let Lisa know all about it later on, if she hasn't> and hopefully those will dissipate by the time I get him back on my watch on Monday night. He put together the Minecraft Lego in all of 20 minutes actually, blowing my estimated time to keep him occupied by a good hour at least. Anyway I tried to get him to watch the original Space Jam with Michael Jordan from back in the 90s. He thought the Looney Tunes stuff was still pretty funny but for whatever reason, the latest one with LeBron James resonates with him more. Oh well...

We ate lunch at Panda Express Westwood. We hadn't done this in a while and not lost on me was that this was a good opportunity for he and I to do things we wouldn't normally be able to do if Claire the dog were with us. He ate up all his teriyaki chicken and I made short work of the new crispy almond chicken over white rice. I still had lots of food in the fridge of course. Pizza leftover from last night. Italian sausage from earlier in the week. Maybe I'm over estimating what I consume and cook for myself LOL.  Anyway I was surprised to hear from Lisa around 3:30. Normally she would push herself silly and work until well past dinner time. But maybe she's taking her foot off the gas today. She actually asked for me to watch Johnnie for just a little bit longer so she could go to the dealer and talk to them about the finances on her new truck. Something bugging her about the deal I suppose. Either way it's none of my business and I have no interest in any of the details... those are the kinds of things we would end up arguing about back in the day. And wouldn't you know it, even after coming back from talking to the dealership, and already having officially picked up Johnnie, she's still pulled over and parked in front of my apartment trying to get some info. Nope, I guess she's not satisfied. My only thing was... why not go home and take care of it there??? I mean Johnnie's restless in the backseat and her house is exactly 6 minutes away. She can't wait 6 minutes? Those are the things that would irk me most about her and I do realize it's just Lisa being Lisa and she simply needs to be nudged every now and again... and to be able to do it gentle so she doesn't get set off is a skill in and of itself LOL. Anyway mom and son finally went on home, I took a walk around my neighborhood to get to my 10,000 steps for the day and had me some fish fry for my Saturday night dinner courtesy of Ralphs. ANd a cucumber tomato salad over rice too.  I realized that tomorrow there would be no need to get up early since our tee time was not until 10:50 in the morning. I can actually sleep in. And maybe binge watch something though I don't really feel like doing that until 1 AM in the morning. Which is why it disappointed me that THAT was exactly what I did. I found this series on Netflix called the Defeated, about a NYPD cop that found his way to Berlin after the war helping the American sector Germans keep law and order with their own cops. Armed with no weapons of course. It was an interesting connection of plots and sub-plots that definitely had me hooked. Enough to watch until 1:30 AM anyway. Oh well, at least I don't have to get up THAT early...

Friday Anxiety

So it's Friday and though I had some decent sleep for the first time without Johnnie and Claire all week, I had lingering anxiety which had been the case all week long. I'd like to think it was because it was Tech Council Meeting week. But by today, I should have been in breathe out mode already. But I wasn't. Instead I'm getting up early getting Johnnie his Daily Pass. AND trying to get a tee time for the following Sunday. AND STILL I got a phone call from Lisa asking to resend the Daily Pass because they wouldn't accept the one I texted her. That one didn't have his name on it. Sigh.  I wanted today to be like last Friday. A nice meditation session to start the day, a quiet breakfast, then watching LIVE TRADING on YouTube. I didn't get to any of those. That's because I chose to pay attention to the work distraction instead. I got an email first thing about some documentation required for the FCC Telehealth grant and I got to that first thing this morning. As in before 8 AM this morning. I know where my attention was going I guess. By the time I had had breakfast, taken a shower and cleaned up it was already almost 10 AM. For some reason I had the urge to do grocery shopping early today and so I made a trek to Trader Joe's in the morning too and while I was at it, I ended up having one of those chicken scallopini microwaveable dinners for lunch. Pretty good too. I tried to take a nap but couldn't and that being the case I just waited until I got done with my 2 PM meeting with the EHR team. After THAT I considered my day all done.

My work day anyway concluded I spent the rest of Friday chillin' basically.  It had been a bit of an odd week. Even the weather was a bit strange with some drizzle during the middle of the week and it wasn't as warm as it usually such as it were in the middle of August. I remind myself that if I were still working at USC, students would have been moving in right about now, signifying the end of summer break. Hey, I've a couple of weeks left as it has started to get darker later in the morning, and darker earlier in the evening. Still I managed to take a nice walk around my neighborhood for a Friday evening. I mentally put myself in ready mode just in case Lisa needed help picking up Johnnie again, considering she IS working today as well. She must be trying to get some money in, what with purchases of a fridge and stove and all. I get it though. I'm trying to be as frugal as possible myself. Although I still need to learn the mechanics of generating a lot of money in a very short period of time. That is what I have to prove to myself don't I? I think what i have to work on is actually doing it, instead of reading about it. That's a program I need to clean up. Just one more block, one more obstacle I have to clear. I need to install the program: I AM A DOER, A CLOSER, A FINISHER. And I have no less of an example as my Cal Poly Pomona tenure to undo in my memory. hey at least I finished right? If only it took a lot longer than it should have. THAT is the pattern I must fix. Anyway tonight I had a hankering for pizza, though not necessarily from Domino's or Papa John's or Pizza Hut. I remembered Lisa's Boboli pizza from Monday and I remember thinking it was just as good as Pizza Hut. And so I bought some boboli for tonight, some pineapple chunks, mozarella cheese and pepperoni. See me yukking it up over the unfinished dough. And damn if it wasn't as good as the Pizza Hut version I usually pay $13 for?!! And so tonight I had my homemade pizza, Baked Lay's potato chips and I ended up watching not one but TWO movies: CODA (stands for Children of Deaf Adults) which won the Grand Prize at Sundance this year. I really liked the movie, and I think it's the best movie I've seen this year so far. It was about a young girl who is the only one who can hear in her family and we discover she has a talent for singing. How does one cultivate a talent no one in her family would ever know exists?! It was very well done and tugged at the heartstrings to be sure. The second was REMINISCENCE with Hugh Jackman about a machine that could go back and have someone experience any past memory. Of course it would turn into a search for memories about a love that was lost or more specifically a love that ended up being a con, but also ended up being true love after all. What we won't do for love... anyway it was a pretty good movie too and I'm sure it would do well at the box office. As far as I was concerned, this probably would have been just another night out at the movies as it used to be pre-pandemic. Just as much value watching at home, AND I got to watch 2 of them. Friday anxieties, all done and done.

Johnnie Lessons

After yesterday's Tech Council Meeting, today was supposed to be another breathe out day. Had we been still working at the FRB downtown, I'd be sauntering in around 9:30 then getting a leisurely breakfast only waiting for 11:30 AM when I'd then walk over to the CCALAC building 15 blocks away to do the HIT Roundtable Meeting from 12 - 2 PM. And then cakewalk the rest of the day thereafter. Alas those days are no more sad to say and we will probably not see those days again, now that we have another Covid variant on the loose for the near future. But there is still the HIT Roundtable Meeting and as it were today, it would be the last of 3 I was doing for the morning. So there's the morning Johnnie drop-off, then the IS Team Meeting, then the one-on-one with Dennis my direct boss, and THEN the HIT Roundtable. Needless to say with all that going on, it wasn't the leisurely day-after-Tech-Council day that it once was. But all the activity did make the morning go quickly. And then I spent lunch time grilling some pork chops while simultaneously getting my steps done... all that before the HIT Roundtable Meeting at noon. That meeting was notable only because my former co-chair Roman Chapa attended and spoke about the ransomware attack that hit their health center. There's nothing more powerful about hearing about such boring things than actually hearing the experience from TWO of my peers describing the event as the WORST days of their lives. Wow. Made for an interesting meeting anyway, if not for another few minutes of blathering babbling from San Kim yet again. That guy just loves to hear himself talk I guess. Anyway the thing was done by 2 PM and then I did the LAST thing I had to do today for work... which was forward supporting documentation for a $200K+ grant that we applied for. Wouldn't it be cool if we got THAT! Very different from the past when I would casually kill time by going to Macy's on 7th on my way back to the FRB LOL LOL. At least I got a half hour nap in after I got my work done, that's notable :) 

And then off I went to pick up Johnnie. When he came to the gate he was limping. I was annoyed only because he started doing that we he came to my field of vision. He wasn't limping when I saw him playing with the other kids and he didn't know I was watching. And when he kept complaining on our drive back, I yanked his shoe off in frustration. Same shoe that caused a blister in his heel. Same shoe I just bought this past weekend that is probably too small for his foot. And that I insisted he wear today. Tsk tsk smh. All my fault. And here I am getting irritated. I stayed that way too for the bulk of the evening and I don't even know for sure why. And that came to a head later on after dinner. Right when we were about ready for the Lisa hand-off at 7:30 PM. Johnnie's favorite thing sometimes is to rough-house with me and it used to be fun for me even. But he has grown bigger now and those kicks and scratches that I used to laugh off, now hurt. And in particular, one of his kicks hit my knee in such a way that it hurt pretty hard for a few seconds and which made me see red. That was after I told him to pull back a little. Of course Johnnie doesn't know how to control his own strength just yet and that request didn't mean much. THe problem was it got me angry and I snapped. I grabbed both of his hands and smacked them really REALLY hard. ANd so of course it hurt HIM. And he started to cry. That laughing face I posted transformed into one that didn't want to come near me because he was afraid I'd hit him again. THAT always snaps my pattern and instantaneously made me remorseful that I ever hit him. I had to spend the next 10 minutes calming him down and apologizing and explaining why I acted that way.  At that instant I remembered LeBron James' line from Space Jam 2. I'm trying to be a good dad. You're teaching me son. Isn't THAT the truth! IT is ME that needs to learn control don't I? It is ME that needs to guide my child. Fortunately I did manage to get him back to his usual self by the time Lisa came by. I gave him a big hug goodbye in the back of Lisa's truck and off mom and son went with the dog. Off I went too to finish my steps for the evening. Thank you for the lesson my son. And once again I'm sorry I got angry.

Tech Council Meeting Day

So today is Wednesday, another drop-off routine first thing and it went similar to yesterday actually. Except that it was lightly drizzling this morning. That was a bit odd. But it wasn't cold at all. It was like Maui rainforest rain and it felt humid out. So we get there early like yesterday, we see familiar faces in line, Brooklyn and Johnnie walk in, I'm out. And I'm off finishing what's left of my Tech Council materials. What I did forget was that Business Continuity was moved to today and I totally missed it. I must have been missed because right after the meeting I got a call from Eloisa. She was calling to check in on me. I didn't feel like she was doing so to actually check in that I was working... I mean I do have that Tech Council Meeting today but she said it was to check in if I was doing okay. I believe her actually. And she told me Barbara pinged her about me not having responded to a couple of her emails from late last week requesting status on a couple of things. I didn't respond because I thought I would just bring it up today at Tech Council. But as Eloisa said.. we should all know Barbara by now. That was after I said you'd think I would have earned a little bit of trust after 8 years. Of course I also realize that Barbara is in the middle of a very difficult time and I totally understand that she's trying to immerse herself with work too. Anyway I did appreciate the call from Eloisa and I knew I'd see her again in a couple of hours. In the meantime I felt oddly relaxed. It felt like my body was doing it's fat burning thing... where I feel hot flashes every now and again. Or maybe it was just the humidity LOL. Anyway somehow I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was going to have a good meeting and that I was going to provide great value. As it was the meeting went fine. And I thought I covered Barbara's stuff, Eloisa's stuff, showed everyone something new with the Proof-of-Concept quizzes I'm trying to implement and I even went beyond an hour for the first time in a while. And afterwards, I participated in a couple of meetings that solved tricky issues. Yep, I had a very productive work day and I thought I created a heck of a lot of value. The great part about Tech Council Meeting day is that once it's over, I can breathe out for the rest of the week. Oh wait... one more task to do that's due tomorrow. The FCC Telehealth Grant folks need some more documentation. Could it be that we are actually going to get that grant? That's for over $200K! We get that boy and THEN I can really pat myself on the back since I put the numbers together. I sure hope so...

With all the good stuff going on at work I felt like I deserved to reward myself. Enter Dexter who called earlier in the week so he could pick up the Maui Built shirt Lisa got for him at his request. We first made plans to meet up on Friday but he called Monday to move it to Wednesday. Tonight. And he wanted to grab dinner too. And so I suggested Galbi King the Korean BBQ down the block. That would make for a PERFECT reward for me! Dexter came by after 5:30 and the good part was that they have rice, they have teriyaki chicken, and they have those rice wrappers that Johnnie loves so much. He's covered! We walked on over there and I AM glad that indoor dining is back for this place. Dexter wasted no time getting the meat. See the pic of the teriyaki chicken I intended for Johnnie to eat. Alas, his pickiness kicked in and he wouldn't eat it. I swear it tastes just like Panda Express but he still wouldn't eat it. He did finish off most of the rice wrappers so it wasn't like he didn't eat anything. This after he didn't eat the banana bread I packed for his lunch too. Is he going to eat ANYTHING?! I am really starting to get frustrated with his pickiness. But what am I supposed to do... Anyway the rest of the meat was left for Dexter and I and I know he wasn't complaining. He was even talking about getting another order of meat LOL. It was a great dinner obviously and I was glad we walked so we could continue to walk some of it off afterwards too. It was nice to catch up with Dexter as well. We were supposed to go to the Dodgers game with Yadira but it was the night Lisa came home from Maui and there was no way we could pull that off. It would have been nice to catch up then. Oh well, we caught up now. Dexter is being told his job may be relocated to Florida. smh. That is why I want to retire early and not have to worry about those kind of things. I remember the last time Dexter was looking for a job. It was the same spring I was when i got laid off by USC. He ended up at Disney, I ended up at QueensCare. And here we were 8 years later. Still we have to be grateful we are able to have the dinner we did tonight. Able to catch up and we're healthy and doing relatively well. And I'm grateful Johnnie had a good day at school and despite not eating as much as I thought he would, he said he got full. And knocked off to sleep like he had had a full day. I did too. I knocked off to sleep early myself. We're all good.

A New Routine Again

So today we start another new routine, really same as the old one - the one where I drop Johnnie off at school first thing in the morning. Only this time of course he's in a different grade, the drop off point is different and there are a lot more kids than last year when really only half decided to return to school in person. Still, it wasn't really anything new to get up early, let the dog out to poop and pee. Johnnie already showered last night so all he had to do was put clothes on and then off to McDonald's to get the usual breakfast. We're not waiting until 8 AM to leave though. We would usually leave around 7:40 so we could be among the first in line. Faster for me to get in and out of there that way. Except that today, when we did get there around 7:45, there were already at least a dozen kids in line. I think it's because the first and second graders share the entry gate. I didn't recognize any of the kids already in line. Until Brooklyn came dropped off by her grandmother. Johnnie and Brooklyn walked in to class together yesterday. It was as if it was TK all over again. And today they would do so again.  I really WAS in and out of there and I was off before it was even 8 AM. When I drove off, there were still lots of parents barely getting there. It's sort of a rehearsal for me as well if ever I need to be at work early. I know I can be done with drop-off before 8 AM. Anyway I had loads of work to do today. It's Tech Council Meeting week after all. And I wouldn't even be able to get to it first thing. That's because we had a Leadership Summit meeting from 9 - 11 AM. I'm all for these Leadership Summit things if only because it shows that the Executive Management team are at least doing something to help improve our skills as managers. Today's topic was Emotional Intelligence and there is nothing more important in my opinion than a leader/manager's Emotional Intelligence in terms of being able to lead a team. Certainly I've tried to incorporate it into my management style even from a while back, trying to emulate Tom Gordon. But I am NOT Tom Gordon and I do not have that ability to invoke loyalty from those that work for me. Or do I? I think I AM a good manager and a good leader and I do think it's because I have empathy. Not always. But I try to... most of the time. Even when I don't want to be bothered by personalities and individual quirks, I still try to remind myself of the human stuff. That everyone has "stories". Including ME.

So despite a bit of a late start, I did finish the bulk of my presentation by mid-afternoon. Even while I tried to catch up on a team meeting I otherwise had to miss this morning. Gotta be a good leader that way don't I?! I just put my head down and worked away and when I looked up it was already time to pick up Johnnie. That's another thing that was different. He's in the STAR program again and it's a good thing we did get him enrolled because the Beyond-the-Bell program couldn't get a coach. And so there is no Beyond-the-Bell. There was a familiarity about coming to the gate and picking him up. Really no different than last school year's Beyond the Bell, just different people heading up the STAR program. Today it was almost 5 PM by the time I picked up Johnnie, and he was really sweaty too. Which meant he was in the middle of something physical. That was a good thing.  We headed straight to Panda Express to get his dinner. No need to stop at the apartment I thought. And where Johnnie thought he was going to get a lunch and THEN a dinner, my idea was to simply to do an early dinner and let him load up with whatever dessert he wanted. Of course he didn't eat the pasta lunch I made for him. He barely eats anything for lunch anyway. At least he ate the yogurt snacks. And he did eat all the strawberries. So really I couldn't complain. I had the new crispy almond chicken over rice for MY dinner. And afterwards I made the old Tuesday routine chocolate chip cookies. AND I made banana bread (see pic). I figured I'd give him that for lunch for tomorrow. Funny, with all the busy-ness of this week, really my main concern was what to pack for Johnnie's lunch. Still I did get most of my work done, which meant I knocked off when Johnnie did. 9:30 PM. And when I turned to kiss Johnnie goodnight, I told him "I love you". 'I love you too Dad" came the reply. NOTHING beats that. I went to sleep with a full heart.

Johnnie's First Day of School

I woke up this Monday really early and the first thing on my mind was that I had to generate a Daily Pass for Johnnie for his first day of school. Here it is I'm not even in charge of dropping him off or picking him up today and his first day of school is STILL the first thing on my mind. I even got a ping from Brooklyn's mom already asking if the kids could walk in together. It's HER first day back in person so I could understand a little hesitancy. And so I already told Johnnie he has to watch for her and show her the ropes. By mid-day a whole slew of pictures from her new teacher already and I'm posting them here. I also got a ping from Lisa letting me know that the drop off went pretty smoothly and that the kids did get to walk in to their new room together. Awww. The picture of Johnnie with a piece of watermelon on his hand was pretty priceless. He had that look of: most-likely-to-start-a-cafeteria-food-fight-before-he-graduates-from-high-school. LOL LOL. In the meantime, it IS Monday and it IS Tech Council Meeting week, which means I need to get material together and put a presentation together for WEdnesday. Sigh. And I got Barbara breathing down my back on a couple of items. I want to respond to her quickly only because I know she is dealing with the news of her husband being diagnosed with Stage IV cancer and so I am trying to at least get her stuff she needs if THAT is how she is choosing to cope is to simply get back in the game. Also in the meantime, it IS Monday and I do want to get my 15,000 steps and 100 active minutes in today. It felt like I got off my dime pretty late this morning since I was focused on the Johnnie thing though he wasn't even around. Mentally, I was just not where I would have been normally. And so I got started on everything kind of late. Even taking a shower, my reports that are usually due, work stuff.  By lunchtime I was debating what to eat and I ended up going to McDonald's to get a crispy chicken sandwich. Hey, it actually got me kickstarted on my walk ok? And even with a bag of food and fries and a coke in my hand, I still managed to walk around my neighborhood and got myself to 8000 steps by 2 PM. I even had time for a nap... or at least a meditative session. And later on, Lisa called to do a bit of a download. Her fridge arrived but didn't fit, a staffer of hers quit, a long-time one quit too. All I could was offer a "hey, you guys will figure it out, you always do". I wouldn't do that before. I would always try to solve her problem and get myself in trouble doing so. All she really needed was to download and since she hadn't done that in quite a while, this time I simply let her. Besides, I'm coming by later on to pick up Johnnie for MOnday hand-off night anyway. There were a lot of things going on at school too. Apparently they didn't have a Beyond-the-Bell coach. A good thing we enrolled Johnnie at STAR. At least he's covered until at least 5 PM. From what I heard, Mama Vicky and Lisa picked him up and Johnnie got in trouble for showing a not-so-welcome face when she realized Mama Vicky was there. Gotta teach that kid not to wear his emotions on his sleeve all the time. I went by at 6 PM to get him and mom and son were eating pizza baked in Lisa's pizzaria that she got as a present. They did Boboli and sauce and pepperoni and it wasn't bad really. Wasn't as good as I expected but hey, it's a pizza. I had a couple of pieces myself... then augmented it with a tostada salad from El Pollo Loco.  I picked him up late so it was 8 PM in no time it seemed. And Johnnie was already ready to wind down. He still needed to take a shower and his clothes were covered with dirt and pizza. But that meant that he had himself a pretty good day. I heard from Blair, Brooklyn's mom, that HER day went perfect! Can't do better than that. And tomorrow.. it is back to my turn :)