Sunday Chill

"Where are you right now?  Somewhere warm?  Safe?  Next to someone you love?  Someday, all that will be gone.  Time passes, how it’s meant to.  All that matters is now.  Happily…ever…now.” From the concluding scene of the SciFy series: 12 Monkeys which I had been binging on all weekend. It was a reminder that NOW is all you have. And that NOW is what is important. Also it was a reminder. The right ending is the one you choose. All these quotes from the series. Over and over about time. Over and over about no matter what it is the NOW that matters. Which is why that little snippet of Lisa, myself and Johnnie from last night was important. It wasn't about what it meant. It was simply about being there. THEN. I'm pretty sure these were tugs from my Higher Self. Reminders. I'm prone to forgetting. We all are. Maybe what I binge on isn't really all that much of a distraction so much so that they are merely tugs and reminders. And those are important too. So yes I have all this stuff I set out to do and stuff I need to learn in the process. And it isn't about the end game is also the reminder. It's all the stuff about the in-between. And also it's all about what happens after. So in a year and I'm sitting at home doing trading stuff, managing my assets which is now my full time gig and coming up with side hustles for fun, AND watching Johnnie while he goes to school, how am I feeling? Happy? Fulfilled? Busy? Am I any less anxious than I get right now? Am I now busy manifesting the condo/townhouse I want to buy in the MV Elementary School District still? Have I finally gotten around to creating content that will help others? Am I any more or any less patient with other people? Am I still getting pinged and irritated by Lisa stuff? Interesting questions aren't they? 

Anyway all that stuff I wrote in the first part of the post were musings in the afternoon. Morning of course was still all about golf. This morning it was just Scott and I at Penmar. I could tell he prefers that if it were just he and I and I didn't mind either. I've gotten to the point where I could pretty much get on or near the green within 3 hits but today it was my putting that didn't hold up. I had so many par putts. I get it that most of them weren't close. But I was not barely missing either which was problematic. I was missing the putt period. I remember making just ONE long putt. Oh well at least I had several bogeys for the day and didn't have any blow-up holes. And I was hitting off the tee pretty well, even though a couple of them ended up short on the fairway because they would hit a tree on the left where I yanked the shot mostly. Still I played decently enough. I do note that I had a bit of an anxiety thing when we started which I was able to calm down and it didn't carry over into the afternoon which was good. It allowed me to clean up the rest of the apartment finally. I had the usual salmon kabobs from Crimson for lunch. And for dinner I had mini beef pot pie from Marie Callenders. Took the scooter out to enjoy the setting sun actually. If everything is all about moments, then I will remember today's moments as a couple of times under the shade while playing golf at Hole 8. It was a hot day, but feeling the breeze on my face under the shade of the trees on that hole felt really good. And reminded me that no matter what, at that moment, I was having fun and there was nowhere else I would rather be. Same thing when I was riding my scooter around my neighborhood in the afternoon. Wind in my face, zooming by at 14 mph. It was a good feeling. I got tired early tonight. From a whole bunch of nothing really. Didn't get to my journal (doing it the following day), barely got around to washing dishes and cleaning the top of my oven. REady again for the next week when I have Johnnie and Claire.  It's still all good. And I think I had a pretty good last 3 days actually.