Trying to Regain Focus

I recognize that yesterday's blech energy had to have a cause. Some kind of trigger. Or maybe it was simply negative programming trying to find its level like a thermostat. Which makes it extremely important to meet it head on and find a way to transform it. I keep going back to the past and why I made certain decisions, and took certain paths. I keep going back to the fact that I have always known what I wanted but let other things take precedence to trying to craft my own financial independence. There's always going to be these distractions and I need to understand that and I need to let myself work through those anyway. Those blech feelings are just that... a distraction. Especially when I consider that everything is ME pushed out. From that perspective, I WAS the trigger. I allowed it and let it take control instead of figuring out a routine to stop it in its tracks and stack the positive. That is how I ended up focusing on the negative minutae. Today I did a much better job fending off said negativity. And I did that by working on a new version of affirmations, more tailored to achieving financial independence and letting my money work for me. I envisioned that I had $1.1M in my 403B/IRA accounts. And then I had $91K in my checking account. And then I had $800K in my brokerage account. Considering I own a condo/townhouse worth about $800K that means my net worth is $2.8K. It's that magic number I had always envisioned didn't I? The 403B stuff is already inevitable. The trick is to learn how to make a large amount of money just starting with the $50K in my brokerage account. Turning $50K into $800K? Let's do it!  Now to figure out how and execute. And so thinking about these things was how I knocked myself off the negative anchors. It was still a bit of a strange day since it rained a bit this morning. Well, not really rain, but it wasn't sunny. The sun never did come out until late in the afternoon when I was already picking up Johnnie. By then I noticed I still had all these things coming up at work but they didn't bother me as much as it did yesterday. In fact, the one thing that I was putting off was the review of James. And I finally got it done this morning and it was not that bad at all. I could have graded him lower, but then again it feels like his mediocrity is simply accepted because of who he is and I am ok playing along with that. It's no skin off my teeth. In fact, it was he who admitted he was in a not-so-good mental place last year all year. Well that explains a lot don't it? Anyway I was relieved to get that one over with. Moving on...

So while Johnnie was immersed in his afternoon viewing of Wild Kratts I focused on getting my steps in and today I actually went well past 11,000 all the way to 12,000 and that was while I had started at around 3000 at midday. An afternoon trek to Panda Express Westwood didn't really help much other than it got Johnnie some attention doing his tricks with the dog while waiting for me. It also gave me a 20% discount on our meal as the manager gave me an employee discount because she had known Johnnie and I from the West LA Panda Express. Hey you take and appreciate these little gifts whenever you can. It just goes to show how abundant the Universe is actually. What I did was I loaded up on the steps while Johnnie asked for and got to watch yet another night of Space Jam A New Legacy which would be the third night in a row. Hey what do I care?! He watched, i did steps around my apartment unit perimeter. THAT is how I got to 12,000 steps didn't I? I had also did a re-mix of the Affirmations I had worked up from a couple of years ago now. The one that served me well and gotten me in pretty good standing at QueensCare no matter how insecure I had felt over the course of the last 3 years. I simply tweaked it to account more for being financially independent as I feel that I have started to get the formula of how to align to that vibration. A lot of it is being grateful for the current state no matter what it is. And THAT is what was missing in all these years of trying manifestation and Law of Attraction stuff. That and consistency with my mental practice. THIS is as BIG an A-Ha as any. And like all other things I'm into, like golf, like sports, like my work, consistency is the key. And focus without force. There's a certainty in what i'm doing about my work stuff that I am transmuting and reworking into the other stuff in my life that I am looking to accomplish, looking to do. Anyway all that simply means that I had gotten out of the mental funk I was in from yesterday and gotten back to where I want to be again. And THAT is always a good thing. I look to Johnnie who is very excited that tomorrow he has planned to put together the wooden boat toy I bought on Ebay and trying it in the little pool and that we're going to get his baseline test in for coronavirus for his school but he also gets to see Brooklyn. Life is simple. Life is good :)