What Occupies My Mind Monday

It is another Monday and as I woke up this morning there seemed to be a lot on my mind. So much so that I had difficulty centering myself and meditating on what I wanted to experience this week. The first thing I noticed was how warm it was already at 7:30 AM. It isn't officially summer just yet but to me it already is, especially now that the proverbial commencements have concluded ushering in the summer season. Still I managed to get myself up and walking around the neighborhood first thing to get my early steps done. I thought about how there weren't any kids walking to school this morning. Thought about how Johnnie and mommy are doing with drop-off at Penmar Park Recreation Center... his summer camp for the next couple of months or so. I remember the first time he went to this camp was in the summer of 2018. He was at little toddler's camp then. Anyway I hope he has fun. I thought of summer of 2019 which was the camp at Mar Vista right before he entered TK. He would call me from camp at lunch because he would miss me, he would be "homesick" if I could use that term. I'm thinking he has come al long way from that. Right?? These are the thoughts that occupied my mind this morning. I was thinking I was glad I didn't have to actually go to jury duty today, although I had been registered for jury duty all week. How do they do trials anymore in the time of coronavirus? I'm thinking it's ok that I don't have to know first hand. I'm thinking I have to work my butt off for the next couple of days. It's Tech Council Meeting week after all and I don't have any idea what to present. Yet. I have to actually still plan it. Still I pretty much stuck to recent Mondays routine. I got to 5000 steps by breakfast, had some nice Hawaiian bread bagels with bacon and eggs. Mmmm... Hawaiian bread bagels: what a find! And then worked on Monday morning reports. Can't really start working on my presentation until i got that out of the way anyway. By lunchtime I did NOT feel like cooking anything. I went and got some French Dip and onion rings from Marie Callenders down the block. THIS is why I like living here where I am. I have a nice flow to where I want to go and where I need to be. I wonder about being comfortable though... too comfortable. Is there such a thing? These are the thoughts that occupied me today... 

And then of course there was the pattern of finding something that Lisa does that absolutely irritates me. Today Johnnie was spending time with Brooklyn at her house after summer camp. All good. We agreed I'd come by later than usual. 6:30 PM later. Gave me a chance to finish up my steps, finish up my reports, get some work done. I got to her house at 6:30 PM as we agreed and mom and son weren't there. Of course they are still at Brooklyn's. A text would have been nice. Instead of having me wait at her house like a jackass. THAT is what sets me off. Feeling like being taken for granted. I realize now that I am writing this that the Universe was testing me yet again. And found a way with bringing up and old pattern I need to clear.  Lisa can be thoughtful. She is with her patients. That she can be like that yet just disregards my efforts and my time is the most annoying of all. When I called her she finally asked if she could just drop Johnnie off later. Of course she could, what choice did I have? Better to go home and not waste my time. I asked myself what Lisa could have done that would have made things better. Apologize first off. Apologize lastly. Just apologize and be accountable. "I'm sorry Arnel, the kids were having so much fun I couldn't tear them away".  Of course I would have been ok with that.  And so I just imagined her saying it anyway and made me feel better. At least I was not as irritated. I made myself a pizza for dinner and had Johnnie's dinner ready - penne pasta with chicken noodle broth. Of course he hadn't eaten yet. "I'm sorry Arnel the kids were having so much fun I didn't want to tear them away".... I feel better again. Lisa finally did drop Johnnie off around 7:30. I really didn't care about the time so much. It was Lisa disregarding me that I got mad about.  And so I worked on clearing that. I reminded myself everything is ME pushed out. I must have been in a getting disregarded kind of energy. She didn't really try to do that I'm sure. Besides, when I left Courtney had just driven up. I'm sure she has her hands full. For me all it really meant was that Johnnie had a late dinner. And that I would take the dog for a walk later than usual. Everything is ok. Johnnie still got to bed at his usual time. And from his account? He had a pretty fun day. THAT is all that matters after all.