Golf with the Foursome

So golf Sunday is at Harbor Park today. And it is the usual foursome of me, Scott, Greg, and Chris playing together here possibly for the last time with Greg in a while. Yeah yeah it is me that is sentimental and a tad emotional about it. You'll forgive me. Through separation and divorce and then the pandemic, there was always golf somehow and there was always these guys to pull me out of what would have been an isolated existence. Not that THAT is going away once Greg leaves for Arizona. It will be a different cast of characters every week probably. Just my way of appreciating the moment that's all. So I took a pic of the four of us for posterity. Anyway this morning was a bit different in that the tee time was not until 9:50, which gave me plenty of time to lollygag around the apartment and have breakfast. And when I drove to the golf course I was hit with an anxiety attack on the freeway. That was strange. Fortunately for me, I simply did my breathing exercises and it was good to simply remember to revert to that. It was all in my head. Some residual stuff bubbling to the surface needing to be released. How do i know that? I was back to normal after 5 minutes of steady breathing. And it was like nothing happened by the time I got to the golf course. So to the golf game... yet another opportunity to learn how to control my focus. I did some practice swings in the netted tee area and I think I got my swing down specifically working on my fairway swings. Of course what you do in practice goes out the window once you get out on the course for real. I had a nice swat off the tee right off the bat. And then reverted to the weak, inaccurate fairway swing that had plagued me the last couple of weeks. It cost me a par on the first hole. And then on the second hole, I yanked my shot way left and then blundered my way to an 8, again misfiring and whiffing on my fairway shots. I had to STOP my pattern. What was it that had me winning the first 3 holes on this same course not even a month ago hitting long shots on the fairway with my irons and then I revert back to these maddening whiffs on the fairway? I'm thinking I reprogrammed myself for that good golfer scenario but somehow could not seal the deal and could not sustain the focus even on that day. And then I reprogrammed myself back. It's like I changed my own thermostat. And that was what was at play today clearly. On Hole 3, I yanked to the right again, not making an adjustment and actually saved myself at least getting out of the trees. But the fairway hits were not long at all. On Hole 4, I yanked it left AGAIN, and I could see I was not making an adjustment. And blundered my way to yet another 8. Same on the next Hole 5. It was like a whiff-a-rama by this time. It wasn't until Hole 6 that I settled down and not until I overadjusted and yanked the ball right this time off the tee. I at least tied for the Hole win with a bogey. And so at least I wouldn't get shut out today. And followed this up with a beautiful long drive on the next hole. Probably the best shot I would hit all day. I still hit it short from the fairway but at least I tied for the win again on the hole. I was pin level on the short par-3 Hole 8 but I whiffed again. Almost missed the ball and left it well short. What coulda woulda shoulda been a par turned into a 5. Sigh. And there was the game. Scott tied for the match today. He had a good round. As for me? Back to the drawing board, back to practicing my focus. Back to learning how to undo my own programming.

Hey at least I had a nice lunch on the drive home. I was thinking I wanted to go to IN-N-Out in the South Bay but I didn't want to deal with the people traffic in that busy place. Somehow I ended up driving to Sepulveda in El Segundo and found another IN-N-Out. I decided to stop at this one. And wouldn't you know it wasn't nearly as busy as I thought. So much so I even had a table to sit at and so I actually had a nice, leisurely lunch right there. And took my time going home through LAX. It was almost 1:30 PM by the time I got home but I didn't care. I had the rest of the day to chillax.

And chillax I did. Watched the Dodgers, watched some NBA playoffs. And basically stayed on the couch until I goaded myself to finish Sunday chores: grocery shopping, laundry. I even got dinner at Crimson, this time with lamb chops and the same rice/lentil soup combo. And I continued chillaxing watching A Discovery of Witches. Possibly the new thing to watch on a Sunday night. I also did some reflecting on the weekend. It's what I don't do but intended to do that needs reflection. I do worry a bit that I get way too comfortable with just hanging out with myself. I mean I wanted to go to Universal yesterday and take Johnnie to the Jurassic World ride since Lisa was out of the way for pretty much the entire day. But I didn't. And today I wish I had. I also need to get my ass going on putting my own money to work. I need to give it a chance to multiply. And so the work is how to make the most out of every day and get myself away from distractions. That is for next week. Tonight, the weekend is over, and I am tired...