Last Day of September

Can you believe it's already the last day of September? What did I say I was going to do by end of September? Get going with my trading activity that's what. And I hadn't done it still. And I think the other-than-conscious reasons for that is something I still have to work on. I reminded myself how I did NOT feel like going golfing just because... or that I didn't feel like filling out my speaker thing with NACHC just because... A level of fear that I simply needed to push past. A part of me that fears failure and rejection. I think it's the same thing with the trading stuff. It seems like I am constantly distracting myself. It's like the Universe is asking me is this really something you want to do? I remind myself that I still have to put in the work no matter what it is I choose. I just simply decoded how to do it within the context of my current work environment. But really I remind myself I don't really want to work for anyone anymore either. I would much rather report to myself. Which is why I am looking forward to paying myself bi-weekly from passive income. THAT I'm still trying to do. If not by this month, then i have next month don't I? In the meantime there are still other questions that rile me. Among them: why is it that no matter how nice I get Johnnie's hair in the morning, it is completely unruly by the time I pick him up. I wonder when it is that it starts unraveling like that?! Anyway I didn't have much time to spend on that one this morning. That's because I had back-to-back-to-back meetings to last the entire morning. First the OCHIN Quarterly Meeting, which I think got spent more with the issues rather than with the charts that we usually talk about when we don't have issues. The hour went by fast. And we never did get to the charts after all. And then I had my one-on-one with Dennis which is merely a check-in. And finally I had the weekly team meeting with the EHR team, which was attended by Dr Liao our CMO as well. He had some project in mind regarding provider burn-out. Great. I'm now trying to help solve that as well. You know what though, if I do make headway with it like I think I could, wouldn't THAT be something to talk about at a public forum...

With those 3 meetings out of the way, I realized that now I don't really have any more time to do relaxation things or ME things. Maybe I'll do them tomorrow. But I did watch a couple of new series on Hulu. La Brea, which is about some time dimension loop in the middle of LA, and then Reservation Dogs, about some Indian kids trying to survive in Oklahoma. Ya I know they're mostly distractions. But hey, it IS Thursday after all and winding down the week. Heck, it's winding down the MONTH considering it IS the last day in September. Now we move to thinking about Johnnie's birthday coming up next week. I picked him up at 5 PM and he was playing basketball yet again. It's going to stick I think BECAUSE he is now in the middle of a once-a-week camp until November. I gave him the option of doing Mitsuwa udon tonight or Panda Express and he chose Mitsuwa. And AFTER we picked up his udon, I had a hankering for tacos myself. Don't know why really. So we stopped at Campos Tacos on McLaughlin and dad and son had a pretty good dinner. And then after said dinner, Dad and son kind of sang some songs on YouTube, the one we took a pic of was Bruno Mars and Anderson.Paak doing Leave the Door Open. I tell you my kid is a hoot. Tonight is of course Lisa hand-off night and I had no hallucinations that she was going to come early like she did last week. But I didn't call her either. She texted at 8 PM saying she was on the way. And when we went out there we still had to wait 10 minutes for her to get there. And of course when she did there was the usual litany of things not going right at her practice. The best I could do was to listen and these days I don't pretend to try to solve her problems. I think she can solve them just fine. I would just piss her off or twitch her brain the wrong way if I offered anything other than a listening ear. And so that's all I did was to listen. And assure her that hey, no matter what happens things always end up working out. And then watched mom and son drive off. It's the best possible hand-off considering what Lisa is going through at her practice these days. But then again, was it any different when things WERE going better? I say NO, NOT REALLY. And so off I went to my relative peaceful apartment and let myself drift off to sleep. Goodbye September 2021. No matter what, I appreciate you.