Busy But Under Control

So even though it doesn't feel like I had the day off yesterday, I had just enough of a mental rest that I didn't feel overwhelmed today. In fact, even though I knew I would have to work on my Tech Council presentation all day today, there was no panic, no urgency. It felt strangely routine. Maybe it was getting Johnnie and the dog again last night. It felt comforting to actually sleep early with the dog to the left of me and Johnnie to the right, both breathing softly asleep. It's like what could possibly be wrong in the Universe <smiles>. I think those little meditation stints, brief though they may be really do help out tremendously. I simply focused on providing great value, intending to get finished what I needed to, and affirming that my success is inevitable. And that pretty much kept me cruising all day today. Routine helps too and going to McDonald's for breakfast, getting Johnnie to his 9 AM class and doing my IS Team Meeting already made me feel like I was accomplishing a lot this morning. That and the Manager Meeting which was moved to today since yesterday was an off-day went off pretty well. Superhero single dad, that's what I am :) Maybe it's also letting go a bit and focusing on something else that helped. In my case today, I was focused on making sure the dog didn't poop or pee inside the house. And by golly, we got THAT accomplished. She did, but only when I took her out to the mulch area in front of the house. This WORKS! I wish I could say I focused 100% on my presentation, but the bulk of the early afternoon was actually spent on doing the COVID vaccine reports. This was the first time I was in charge and aggregating all the data from different sources. And it took a little bit of vetting but it was actually good that people got to see that process of validation and seeing where data came from. And it was all done via TEAMS chat, which was cool. By 4 PM, my boss was able to submit her data and I was actually totally confident we had good numbers! Superstar Data Guy.   

Now, doing all that meant I was actually not even working on my Tech Council presentation all afternoon and still I didn't feel behind at all. I knew what I needed to update and so I methodically just did them one at a time. I took plenty of breaks taking brief walks outside so I could do my steps log, and then I even watched Johnnie do his karate class. He's doing really REALLY well too. By the time we were off to Panda Express to get dinner, I was actually more than halfway done with my presentation. And unlike in the past where I used to stay up until 2 or 3 AM in the morning to finish, I was pretty sure I'd get everything done by bedtime. I just needed to get Johnnie watching something where he wouldn't need my attention. The answer? The old Lego Jurassic World Isla Nublar that he hadn't watched in almost a month. Hard to believe that a year ago he was obsessed with Frozen II. In the meantime, I had an odd mix of fried rice, chow mein and frozen fried chicken for dinner. Strangely, it was actually pretty filling and not bad at all LOL. By 8 PM, I had already reached 11,000 steps and I felt strangely calm. In fact, with Johnnie occupied by Isla Nublar, I pretty much got my presentation done by Johnnie's bedtime. There were little things still to do here and there and I really hadn't done my Meeting Minutes yet but who cares. I can do all that tomorrow. I had 30 slides and enough material for about 45 minutes so I was good to go. So how about that, I got done what I wanted to do today. I even managed to take 10 minutes to do a frequency meditation and honestly I think it's what's keeping me on even keel, at least for today. At the very least, it IS keeping anxiety at bay. And I did notice that my resting heart rate has been very steady at 70 for the last 5 days. That's supposed to be a good thing right? Today was also a reminder that if you find a way to appreciate the space you're in, and even acknowledge the parts of you that are pushing towards anxiety, it is much easier to get to the space you want to be. And feel good about it.