Middle of April Already?

Wasn't it just yesterday it was February? Wasn't it just an hour ago it was March? And now we're talking about mid-April already? Which means we're already edging into May? Back when I worked at USC, I used to look at mid-April and realize that the end of the school year is a mere month away. I thought about that because for a couple of minutes there when I was taking a shower this morning, it was like I was transported back to that time when I still worked there circa 2011, 10 years ago. This time 10 years ago the big deal was TEDxUSC. I wonder why all of a sudden I'm thinking about my USC days. Seems so long ago. This being a Monday at all, it's timecard day AND it's Covid Vax reports day, which means I'm on my computer first thing when I woke up and I had to stay there for a while, at least until I ran the 5 reports in EPIC that I  needed to. I had meditated on what I intended to create this week. First things first was that I saw myself and Johnnie having a good return to school day tomorrow. That's gotta be exciting for him. For me too believe me. I also realized that I needed to work my way through the fog and distractions and keep my focus on the outcomes that i want. I realize that I don't need any more gurus, I simply need to apply what I already know. It was like the things that were bothering me were all smoke screens, all distractions, loud enough to keep me thinking I don't have any power over any of them. I just have to root my thinking to the reverse premise. None of them have any power over me. And when i do enough clearing and cleaning, what I wish to experience becomes nice and clear. I also realize from golf that a lot of the time when I'm playing really well is because I'm detached and not holding on too tight. So it's that balance I need to aspire to I think. Create a focus but not so hard that it actually pushes the outcome away. This morning I headed out for a walk first thing too, knowing full well that the key to getting to 15000 steps in a day is to get started with 4000 before I even get to the Business Continuity meeting in the morning at 10:30. I did just that, made myself a ham and cheese croissant for breakfast seeing as the last couple of times I went to Primo's donuts to get them they were already out. At 8 AM!!! I got done with my shower by 10 AM and sat down only to realize that... the Business Continuity Meeting had been moved to later on in the afternoon! Oh well, I guess I get to try to finish my Covid Vax reports instead... 

By mid-afternoon I had already gotten up to 10,000 steps. I had reminded myself that just yesterday I was already at 7000 steps before lunch even. But then again I was playing golf. That wasn't happening this morning. I augmented the walk with in-house aerobics and got myself caught up in a hurry. I didn't even realize that I was supposed to lead the Business Continuity meeting. I was not my high-energized self and neither was anyone else actually. I was on full-on lecture mode because we didn't do too well with this month's KnowBe4 phishing tests. Actually worse than last month. Sigh. What am I going to do? Carry on I suppose. Right after the BC meeting I got a call from Lisa reminding me that she has Pilates class at 5:30 PM, and that I needed to pick up Johnnie at 5 PM. That's a switch... she's asking me to come earlier than usual?! Pretty soon she'll be back to playing soccer again. I mentioned that I didn't miss the weekday soccer. But I did miss the sunday afternoon soccer. The Monday soccer had some ugly moments to me and I showed how I was too emotionally vested in an activity that didn't even matter to me. Just illustrated how I wrapped myself around Lisa's activities. But the Sunday soccer, though still a Lisa activity still made me feel good because I got to see Johnnie on a Sunday. Even these days I rarely see him on a Sunday. And then we sometimes even shared a meal together. So much more positive associations there. When I told Lisa this, she mentioned that she noticed how much happier I am and that I smiled a lot more. I held on to my position that I am neither happier nor sadder, just different and doing well at whatever that "different" is. Hey if someone is smiling, you can figure it out. Turns out I am just fine with my life without her in it. She made a comment about that being "sad". It's probably the best and only way she can express that perhaps, just perhaps, and a very small perhaps at that, she might actually miss me? ME? Naaah... She isn't wired that way. Just some residue emotion I'm sure on her part. Anyway I took Johnnie and the dog, and Claire was her face-licking self just as soon as we made it back to my apartment. This time I had Johnnie's backpack and his water bottle. And the routine is tweaked tonight. We definitely had to go to bed early. It's a BIG DAY tomorrow. Johnnie goes back to school...